Author Archives: Dreamaticus

A peg-legged threesome (Rousse)

Posted on July 13, 2020 by Dreamaticus

I got a lot out of my marriage, not least because my husband’s almost identical brother was part of the deal. We didn’t know his name, nor whether he was younger or older than TPR, but he was always there … Continue reading →

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A foul-mouthed husband in a frilly shirt (Rousse)

Posted on July 12, 2020 by Dreamaticus

It was Sunday and TPR was in a terrible mood. From my corner of the garden I could hear him swearing as he dug deeper and deeper into the hard ground to prepare a spot for repositioning the pond. From … Continue reading →

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Style on a 600 calories a day diet (Rousse)

Posted on July 11, 2020 by Dreamaticus

My sister J now looked long, lean and extremely stylish. Her secret was to live on 600 calories a day. Unfortunately this also made her rather bad-tempered.

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Suffrajet ban on the Isle of Man (Rousse)

Posted on July 11, 2020 by Dreamaticus

TPR explained that he could not possibly live on the Isle of Man because the song Worthy by the Suffrajets was on the island’s banned music list.

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A Russian spy and dangerous old English sheepdog in John Lewis (Rousse)

Posted on July 9, 2020 by Dreamaticus

The University Principal found out that we were harbouring a Russian spy. She first tried to capture him by inviting us all to breakfast at her town house (with newly astro-turfed front lawn). Her servant served us, taking our orders … Continue reading →

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What not to take to a beatification (Rousse)

Posted on July 5, 2020 by Dreamaticus

I shamed myself at the beatification for two former popes by carrying a bottle Heinz tomato sauce in my right hand all the way through the ceremony. Even at the conclusion of the formal proceedings, when the two appointed choir … Continue reading →

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A visit to the Manchester United and BBC comb factory (Belle)

Posted on July 2, 2020 by Dreamaticus

I was guest of honour on a tour of the comb factory. Away from the production lines the offices doubled as BBC newsrooms while the glass windows looked out over the Old Trafford pitch. They showed me a video of … Continue reading →

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Arran by bike (Rousse)

Posted on July 2, 2020 by Dreamaticus

I was the front passenger on a blue five-saddle tandem steered by my nephew P from very the last seat at the back of the bike. To ride the winding one-track roads of the Isle of Arran without protective clothing, … Continue reading →

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Reality TV dating and the joy of comfy slippers (Belle)

Posted on June 29, 2020 by Dreamaticus

I couldn’t shake off the film crew and it dawned on me that my entire date would be televised. I wandered from shop to shop in Blackheath trying on outfits. Oddly everything looked just great on me and I bought … Continue reading →

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Airport pranks with Stephen Hawking (Belle)

Posted on June 29, 2020 by Dreamaticus

We were causing absolute chaos at the airport gate. Stephen Hawking was deliberately driving his wheelchair into staff members. Then he took the microphone off a staff member and started to give an impromptu lecture about ‘the mathematics of flight’. … Continue reading →

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