Monthly Archives: February 2026

Rousse beheaded

Posted on February 26, 2026 by Dreamaticus

Cutting my own head off was easier than reattaching it. TPR was furious when I asked him to accompany me to the hospital for professional help to sew it back on again. He had intended to go shopping that morning, … Continue reading →

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Man-swan down (Belle)

Posted on February 25, 2026 by Dreamaticus

A former colleague was driving me down a winding country lane when she accidentally ran over a man dressed in a swan costume. “STOP”, I screamed, “You’ve knocked over a man-swan”.

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Pink gin, white wellies, blood-soaked sheets, and a mystery mistress (Rousse)

Posted on February 24, 2026 by Dreamaticus

NP and I sat at the bar next to the cheese counter at the Edinburgh Larder, cocktail glasses in hand, downing pink gins. The sophistication of the drink, however, did not match our footwear choice of white wellies. We were … Continue reading →

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A thieving work placement student (Rousse)

Posted on February 22, 2026 by Dreamaticus

When TPR asked me about a mystery £1000 transaction that featured on our latest credit card statement, I thought back to the day when one of the students ‘kindly’ offered to use my card to make a minor purchase on … Continue reading →

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Squandering an inheritance at the pub (Belle)

Posted on February 18, 2026 by Dreamaticus

I’d inherited some remarkable jewellery from an unknown American relative. The jewels were handed over to me in a white cotton pillowcase which I took to the pub. There I encouraged strangers to try on the best item – an … Continue reading →

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Washed up robot Metal Mickey moves in with Belle

Posted on February 17, 2026 by Dreamaticus

My new housemate, the former TV star Metal Mickey was moving in with me. I was lying in bed, thinking about getting a spare key cut for him when I heard loud clanking outside my bedroom window. Metal Mickey did … Continue reading →

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Famous Indian spotting (Rousse)

Posted on February 17, 2026 by Dreamaticus

My sister J, brother-in-law M, TPR and I stepped into the lift to reach the exhibition on a high floor of the tower block.  Our plan was to scour the trade stands to snaffle as many free trinkets as possible. … Continue reading →

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Handsome ‘terrorist’ threatens Mafia-run luxury hotel (Rousse)

Posted on February 15, 2026 by Dreamaticus

The Italian mafia in charge of the super expensive luxury hotel took an instant dislike to my beautiful new husband. Could this be down to his stunning good looks: the dark olive skin and gorgeous green eyes inherited from his … Continue reading →

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Discoveries in a snowy garden (Rousse)

Posted on February 15, 2026 by Dreamaticus

Two things annoyed me when I checked the weather outside to see if we could move some stones from the old rockery. First, the ground was covered with six inches of snow. Second our neighbour had built a footpath from … Continue reading →

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Unexpected unicycling lunch guests (Rousse)

Posted on February 15, 2026 by Dreamaticus

AC was teaching a stranger to unicycle in our hall. After the ‘class’ I invited the pair of them to stay for lunch, even though I knew that this would cost us a fortune. The cycling student hesitated, then said … Continue reading →

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