I took the coach to Ape World with a bunch of school friends. All were in the same form as me, but with the exception of KM, they were in a different class. Amongst my travelling companions were Dippy Dawn and Loopy Lorraine, and a couple of scary school bullies.

My first impression of Ape World was one of great disappointment. With its sticky carpets and forlorn displays, it gave the impression of a cross between a Wetherspoons pub and a once state-of-the-art, but long since abandoned, museum.

I wandered through three of the four main halls – ‘Human world’, ‘Nature world’, and ‘Animal world’ – completely unimpressed by the static models and the dull text that accompanied them. When I reached the entrance to the fourth, I hesitated at the sound of animal screeches and human screams. Were those real apes behind the dark panels? What were they doing to the unseen museum visitors? Was the main attraction to be chased by primates through dark corridors?

I was not prepared to find out. Instead I wandered upstairs to join my Canadian cousins NT and DT, and hunt down some lunch.