My husband scampered up the narrow wooden foot-ladder, dropped down into the next room, then rushed off to seek the rest of his family at the massive party. I followed him up the rungs, but hesitated at the top. This route to the celebration wasn’t as straightforward as I thought.

I saw TPR’s sister JLR in the room beneath me.

‘Please could you call TPR back to help me?’ I shouted down to her.

I waited for a while, but when nobody came to my aid, I managed to make my way down to the huge hotel room. I walked along a corridor and peered into the conference halls. In each one there appeared to be a different party underway.

When I eventually cornered TPR, he looked pale and sheepish.

‘You’ve not fallen in love again?’ I asked him. I was really beginning to tire of his pathetic infatuations.