Ian Rankin was amongst the guests invited by JS to view her new highland holiday home. In the vast sitting room he showed me a collection of cheap, mass produced porcelain deer figurines. He explained that these ornaments were very popular with the tourists who rent this type of cottage.

Next I sat on the sofa between two academics, the pair evidently from the University of Edinburgh. They rudely talked over me, making no effort at all to bring me into the conversation, even though I was just as qualified as they were to give an opinion on the red mohair cardigan under discussion. Indeed, since the woman wearing it was the same size and colouring as me, I was an ideal person to answer the key question: should a redhead wear red?

Feeling unwelcome, I sloped home to return to my work.