I agreed to cross the stage at the graduation ceremony as a proxy for LA. This meant that I would go last. This was at the same time as the executive members of the Student Association who failed to complete their degrees, but instead were being honoured for their contributions to the University.

The problem was how to access the McEwan Hall. I was stuck at the top of an old University of Edinburgh building with two options for descending to ground level: a steep, dark, dank staircase or a narrow chute. The staircase would be very hard on my arthritic knees; the chute was unsuitable for someone who was claustrophobic.

When everyone else took one route or another, I was left with a disabled student unsure of our course of action. He eventually spotted a wide set of marble stairs, so we followed these. We walked out into daylight to discover that we were no longer in Edinburgh, but instead outside the Église Saint-Sulpice in Paris.