England won the Cricket World Cup, and a Premiership football team triumphed in some European championship or other. This wouldn’t have interested me – if it weren’t for the annoying bunting and smug faces south of the border.

My main focus was my forthcoming appearance on Who wants to be a millionaire. I was sure that I could do better than the contestant before me: a plump Irish woman who failed to identify from four infographics the one that is not found on Transport for London bus shelters. (Answer: route maps of the wider Greater London region.)