VAE and CM telephoned me from a ‘country fare’ style gift shop. VAE leant against a display of pink stilettos as she was speaking to me. She shouted in alarm when the first one on the shelf toppled over and the others followed domino-style.

It soon became obvious that every item displayed in the shop was attached to the one next to it. Within minutes the whole showroom was in complete disarray.

When TPR and I turned up at the shop soon afterwards the manager took one look at me and recalled in disgust that I had once shop-lifted a water bottle from her gift shop in Allendale.

VAE was ordered to clear up the mess, or pay a fine of £653.