Monthly Archives: May 2014

A record deal with Simon Cowell (Rousse)

Posted on May 12, 2014 by Dreamaticus

Simon Cowell was much shorter than I could have possibly imagined. I tried not to stare at his stumpy little legs when he waddled over to join us. For the sake of my niece’s singing career however, I really needed … Continue reading →

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German treasure trove reveals its secrets (Rousse)

Posted on May 9, 2014 by Dreamaticus

TPR was the jumping champion. He was the first person who had ever managed to leap from a standing start at the bottom of the pit on to the turf above. Everyone had said that it was impossible, yet my … Continue reading →

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Boris Johnson’s PhD (Rousse)

Posted on May 8, 2014 by Dreamaticus

Boris Johnson’s PhD thesis was so ancient that the yellowing paper cracked as you turned the pages. Presented in two battered cream-cloth bound volumes, the content was somewhat disappointing. I’d hoped that it would come in useful as I did … Continue reading →

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Tickled by a ghost at a high school reunion (Rousse)

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Dreamaticus

I was incredibly excited that 23rd August had come round so quickly. Whatever happened to all those weeks since the reunion plans were fixed in May? I walked into the school hall and the first people I saw were LA … Continue reading →

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How to avoid predatory women (Rousse)

Posted on May 5, 2014 by Dreamaticus

The holiday was full of surprises: A walk along the cliffs above the beautiful beaches of the Isle of Lewis A huge dinner at the guest house with DE A dash through a deserted Waverley Station with JM A tea … Continue reading →

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Running a successful antiques business (Rousse)

Posted on May 3, 2014 by Dreamaticus

BM and RG’s sidewalk antique stall was such a success that I was seriously considering setting up one of my own on the pavement right next to theirs.

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Italy relocated to the West Country (Belle)

Posted on May 3, 2014 by Dreamaticus

I was describing how my last holiday in the Bay of Naples had been interrupted by an earthquake and my friends wanted to know more.  Where exactly was the Bay of Naples?  With an air of authority I said: “Below … Continue reading →

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Packing and a pizza (Rousse)

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I had completely under-estimated the work that goes into a house move. We thought that we could just come home from holiday, pack a few boxes, pop up to Aberdeen for a pizza with V and C, and … Continue reading →

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A seaside discussion of the merits of the Marks and Spencer store card (Rousse)

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Dreamaticus

My long-dead red-lipsticked granny and I clung to the sea wall bracing ourselves for the next wave. Although the scene might have looked tropical with its smattering of palm trees along the shoreline, this was the north east coast of … Continue reading →

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Marrying a fictional gay chef (Belle)

Posted on May 1, 2014 by Dreamaticus

In a chaotic ceremony, I married Ian Craig, a character in The Archers. I wore a crumpled second-hand gown, while Ian looked smart and handsome in his morning suit. With no photographer, I was relying on our guests to capture … Continue reading →

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