Tag Archives: war

Squirrels declare war (Belle)

I received a notice through the letterbox. The squirrels in the back garden had declared war against me and had formed an alliance with foxes. The next morning I opened the curtains and saw that an elaborate network of trenches … Continue reading

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‘War’ is terrible (Rousse)

I lay in bed late one Wednesday morning with SM. He begged a favour of me: please would I persuade his wife PM that booking tickets for War was not a good idea? I had never heard of this film, … Continue reading

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Escaping a war zone by leaky raft (Rousse)

As the bombs dropped on the city, we raced to the port. Here all sorts of vessels lined up to evacuate the population. I hoped that we would be assigned to one of the sturdy blue fishing boats, but by … Continue reading

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Filthy rich families fight over weddings in space (Belle)

A group of Saudi billionaires had promised India’s richest man that his daughters could be married in space. Sadly the technology had failed and the rockets had never taken off.  Billions of dollars of broadcasting rights had been sold and … Continue reading

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Belle and Spain have a messy break-up

I was being manipulated into declaring war against Spain. Spain’s solicitor had written to me asking for its assets back. Without permission, my solicitor had replied that Spain could go stuff itself and we’d see it on the battlefield.

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Doubts over Queen’s health in run-up to royal wedding, while marine mammals rule the waves (Rousse)

It was great to see the two cyclists again when they stepped off the ferry. I recognised the dark-haired girl first (for her beard). They replied sheepishly when I asked if they had enjoyed their time at the guest house. … Continue reading

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Secrets of Sir Ian Brindley’s affair hidden in porridge (Rousse)

My cousin B finally revealed the solemn secret that she had been harbouring for years. During the war my grandfather had been in a relationship with Sir Ian Brindley. ‘There’s further information in there’, she said, pointing to the museum. … Continue reading

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War Horse is “rubbish” (Rousse)

The first act of War Horse was tedious beyond belief. Why had we forked out fifty quid each to watch such a load of rubbish?

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Sir Winston Churchill’s Westminster memorial statue signer (Rousse)

When they started arguing over a new name for the professional body, I knew it was time to leave. I headed straight to Westminster Abbey where a memorial service for Sir Winston Churchill was underway. I was shocked that so … Continue reading

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Belle brokers world peace

I stood up to address the warring parties with a solution as simple as it was obvious. “You must all learn that it’s OK when others don’t agree with you”

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