Tag Archives: time

Madonna advises against A list celebrity friendships (Rousse)

The Indian manager of the charity shop had fallen in love with me. He begged for a date, offering to pay for both the coffee and my time with him in the cafe at the rate of £5 an hour. … Continue reading

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Inadequate shopping signage (Rousse)

I should have put in a complaint to my friend RGJ as the manager of this enormously complex shopping centre. It was simply impossible to navigate. My worst experience of the day was when I got into the lift. It … Continue reading

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Travel by vegetable rack (Rousse)

My new mode of transport was a three foot tall, four-basket, vegetable rack on wheels. Travelling down Edinburgh’s Broughton Street at top speed on this splendid vehicle saved me twenty minutes a day. Sometimes I bounced along the pavement. As … Continue reading

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A missed appointment with Paul McCartney (Rousse)

I’d waited years to meet Sir Paul McCartney in person and now I’d blown it. I thought that I had time before my appointment with the ex-Beatle to pop down to the harbour and check for a consignment of chewing … Continue reading

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Chronology change chaos at the British Council and the Kate Greenaway Children’s Book Award (Rousse)

The hole in the time space continuum was causing all sorts of trouble, including the relocation of major landmarks. For example, Ben Nevis had shifted 250 miles south to Manchester city centre, bringing with it a microclimate of streaked wispy … Continue reading

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Charles Dickens’ wife ponders the impracticalities of the Victorian sex scene (Rousse)

By now I had completely lost track of the characters in this Victorian melodrama. I was mixing up the real lives of the actors with those of the people that they portrayed. As Charles Dickens’ wife you’d think that I’d … Continue reading

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