Poor Darren had his work cut out on the Customer Services counter at the Gateshead Sainsbury’s megastore. His queue grew longer and longer as I explained the whole sorry tale of  my purchases.

I had selected a mix of groceries and garden supplies (as advised by my long dead paternal grandmother), paid for everything, then left my laden trolley in the shop entrance. When I returned later to collect my newly acquired goods, they had disappeared!

I hoped that Darren would be able to reimburse me: as a resident of civilised Edinburgh, how was I supposed to know that Gateshead teenagers steal from unattended shopping trolleys on their long summer school holidays?