Tag Archives: garden

A garden trespasser sausage chef (Rousse)

Posted on April 6, 2018 by Dreamaticus

When I glanced through the bedroom window I saw a tall dark man cooking sausages on our barbecue in our garden. ‘Go get him!’ I ordered TPR. ‘No problem’, he replied, waving his axe in the air. While TPR charged … Continue reading →

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Encounters with chartered surveyors (Rousse)

Posted on March 31, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I had encounters with two chartered surveyors on the same day. The first – RA – spoke to me of his ‘elephantine’ features as contrasted with my ‘beauty’ as he walked me to a tube station in London. I did … Continue reading →

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A secret non-affair (Rousse)

Posted on February 2, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Once again I had sneaked up the stairs to PL’s tiny garret flat and climbed into bed with him. Nothing much ever happened on these visits. Even so, we kept them secret. Then I looked out of the window. In … Continue reading →

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Contini kidnap (Rousse)

Posted on December 28, 2017 by Dreamaticus

We were all (including toddler JJ) squeezed around a big square table in Contini George Street, Edinburgh when a huge red-headed man in a kilt marched into the restaurant. He looked like an extra from Outlander. Most of us supposed … Continue reading →

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To a school reunion by tricycle (Rousse)

Posted on September 6, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I caught FW on a tricycle heading along the cut between our house and garden. She’d got in through a gap in the fence caused by JS’s poor stewardship. FW was embarrassed to have been apprehended on her way to … Continue reading →

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Hospital portering as a career for the elderly (Rousse)

Posted on July 3, 2017 by Dreamaticus

My father complained that he was sick of living in Edinburgh and wanted to move elsewhere. I couldn’t understand why. Whatever would we do with the ponies that grazed in our garden? Perhaps he needed a job? I suggested hospital … Continue reading →

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Naked sunbathing on a beautiful spring day (Rousse)

Posted on April 9, 2017 by Dreamaticus

At 5:00am on a beautiful spring day in April I leapt out of bed, ran naked into the garden, and bathed my body in the golden glow of the sun. (I covered my modesty with a fig leave – not … Continue reading →

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An ousted father and an ice cream (Rousse)

Posted on December 6, 2016 by Dreamaticus

We found the children dredging the canal in their back garden. Their mother was nowhere to be seen, apparently at work. When they fell silent we looked up and saw their father at the gate. ‘We are not allowed to … Continue reading →

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Rumours of garden corpse in case of missing wife (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2016 by Dreamaticus

Each day I offered my new daughter a cup of tea the moment that she came home from school. Every time she ignored me. Similarly her father (my new husband) also wanted little to do with me. Could this be … Continue reading →

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Dead dog danger (Rousse)

Posted on July 9, 2016 by Dreamaticus

Five mutilated dog corpses were scattered across my tiny back garden. At first I simply considered this an inconvenience – until TPR pointed out that it was an ominous sign of danger ahead.

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