Tag Archives: bathroom

Inside a bottle of red wine in a wetsuit (Rousse)

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I broke into H and RJ’s house (while they were on holiday) and used the bathroom. I thought that I had got away with this until I saw their sports car coming up the drive. R was leaning out of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bathroom, blue, bottle, car, cigarette, drive, holiday, house, journey, red, reunite, smoke, sports, travel, wetsuit, window, wine | Leave a comment

Decomposing body parts left to rot in domestic plumbing system (Rousse)

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Dreamaticus

The trickiest job of a murderer is disposing of the body and covering the tracks. My innocent-looking accomplice told me that she had flushed the dismembered body parts through the domestic plumbing system from the bathroom basin. She’d done a … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged accomplice, basin, bathroom, body, clean, crime, decompose, dismember, domestic, evidence, flat, flush, forensic, innocent, murder, murderer, part, plumbing | Leave a comment

Novel marketing ploy from Nandos (Rousse)

Posted on October 29, 2017 by Dreamaticus

When I returned to my cabin mid-morning I found two members of staff still there, tidying up the bedroom and cleaning the bathroom. They hurried away, indicating in broken English that they would come back later. It was only when … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bathroom, bedroom, cabin, chicken, cooked, delivery, east coast, hot, marketing, nachos, Nando's, Newcastle, staff, train | Leave a comment

Mrs Thatcher goes to the loo (Rousse)

Posted on August 6, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I came face-to-face with a giant Spitting Image style Mrs Thatcher dressed in grey tweed. Just beyond her, shuffling along in a blue dress, was the Queen. It looked like Mrs Thatcher wanted to go the the ladies’ lavatory. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bathroom, dress, ladies, loo, Mrs Thatcher, photograph, Queen Elizabeth II, toilet, tweed | Leave a comment

Tsunami hits Manchester (Rousse)

Posted on May 21, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I hurried JA out of our shared bed in the big terraced house in Manchester. ‘Quick!’ I cried, ‘The water has reached the third floor. We need to get dressed and climb into the attic with everyone else, or risk … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged attic, bathroom, clothes, Manchester, safety, tsunami | Leave a comment

Nicola Sturgeon to introduce friend tax (Rousse)

Posted on May 20, 2017 by Dreamaticus

4a Audrey Terrace, Edinburgh was a West End palace – and ours, all ours. We bought it for the ballroom and the prospect of the fabulous parties that we would host there. The immense front porch had plenty of space … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Audrey, back door, ballroom, bathroom, black, buy, coat, face, flat, friend, jacket, Nicola Sturgeon, palace, parties, party, porch, red, tax, terrace, veil, visit, west end | Leave a comment

Friends con and a pink fantasy fairytale princess (Rousse)

Posted on April 4, 2017 by Dreamaticus

When we sent off for the offer we understood that we would receive a large Friends poster in which each of us would take the position of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. Instead, we received six almost-identical prints … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged accommodation, bathroom, bedroom, cage, captor, Chandler, con, conference, escape, fairytale, fantasy, Friends, gate, home, iron, Joey, mall, Monica, Phoebe, photo, pigtail, pink, poster, Princess, print, Rachel, reception, register, Ross, shopping, star, stately, truck, woman | Leave a comment

Ranting, raging, decorating, and bathing at the White House (Rousse)

Posted on March 22, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I stormed into my sister J’s bedroom at the White House where I knew that I would find my mother. ‘She’s done it again!’ I raged. ‘What now?’ ‘She’s “redecorated” the room next to the bathroom in her own ridiculous … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged basin, bath, bathe, bathroom, brown, colleague, decorate, defebce, Hartburn, house, lettering, naked, paper, preferences, rage, rant, redecorate, size, stick-on, Stockton, Stockton-on-Tees, style, white, White House | Leave a comment

Sledgehammer attacker and accomplice break in through bathroom window (Rousse)

Posted on March 2, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Why was the bathroom window open? Why was the burglar alarm ringing? I looked up and caught sight of the man with the sledgehammer. His accomplice was right behind him. ‘Oh my God!’ muttered my husband under his breath. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 999, accomplice, alarm, attack, attacker, bathroom, bludgeon, break-in, burglar, death, dial, husband, man, phone, sledgehammer, window | Leave a comment

Television time delayed due to water allergy (Rousse)

Posted on February 13, 2017 by Dreamaticus

My sister JMH and brother-in-law had added another extension to their house. This was an enormous bathroom off the kitchen. Its ‘walls’ were made of canvas and decorated with swirly orange 1970s patterns. In the kitchen itself they had installed … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 1970s, allergic, allergy, bathroom, borther-in-law, canvas, ceiling, delay, extension, family, friend, house, kitchen, Orange, pattern, programme, screen, sister, swirly, television, viewing, wall, water | Leave a comment