‘War’ is terrible (Rousse)

Posted on August 4, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I lay in bed late one Wednesday morning with SM. He begged a favour of me: please would I persuade his wife PM that booking tickets for War was not a good idea?

I had never heard of this film, but SM assured me that all the reviews were terrible.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A jet and a jetty (Rousse)

Posted on August 4, 2023 by Dreamaticus

Fitness trainer MM selected just a few clients to take a trip on his private jet – and I was one of them!

The start of the return journey proved rather tricky when MM declared that the water was so low in the river runway to allow the plane to take off.

Only when the locals lowered the concrete pier was there enough space for the vehicle to build up to full acceleration.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dead Dad’s diamond (Belle)

Posted on August 3, 2023 by Dreamaticus

My recently deceased father walked into the room, his hands cupped in front of him. He was cradling a massive diamond. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of well-being – he looked so happy.

Then he gave the diamond to my sister, J.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Private audiences with Matt LeBlanc (Rousse)

Posted on July 30, 2023 by Dreamaticus

Matt LeBlanc was such an obliging professional. Whenever I asked, he would entertain me by reciting his lines from episodes of Friends.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pasadena Roof Orchestra tunes, yellow Crocs, and an unsuccessful job application (Rousse)

Posted on July 30, 2023 by Dreamaticus

On the basis of his sudden disappearance, it was obvious to me that TPR had been lying when he said that all he wanted in life was to have me to himself. I wandered around the Manor House reunion on my own, lingering for a while next to the string quartet that was working its way through the repertoire of the Pasadena Roof Orchestra.

Later, a young man attempted to chat me up. His strategy was to compliment my yellow Crocs, ask to try them on, and the delight in the ‘amazing co-incidence’ that our feet were about the same size. Unfortunately for him, I was not in the market for a relationship with a small-footed man.

Finally I received a text from TPR. Although somewhat garbled, I was able to make out from it that he had just returned from a day trip by car to Fleet. When I found TPR in the corridor, dressed in suit and tie under his hooded Barbour jacket, he explained that he had attended a job interview with a computer company called Alacrity.

Just as I was pointing out the insanity of his plans to re-enter the job market (especially given that I had recently given up my own job so that we could spend more time together), TPR received a phone call from the interview panel. He wasn’t the type of candidate that they were seeking after all.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chaotic couriers get called out (Belle)

Posted on July 27, 2023 by Dreamaticus

Unable to sleep, I got out of bed and looked out the peephole in the front door. A hipster food van had pulled up outside and three people were unloading boxes outside my front door. I was immediately incandescent with rage and flung open the door, demanding to know what they were doing and why they were doing it at 2.45 in the morning. “Delivering these parcels”, one of them said, as if I were an idiot.

I stepped outside to look at the boxes. The labels featured a photograph of my front door, but the address was not mine. “This label clearly says ‘Southampton'”, I screamed. This caused much hilarity from the couriers and I went into an epic, sweary rant. This made them laugh even more. I had lost my cool and my dignity.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Changes on campus and food hoarding (Rousse)

Posted on July 27, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I barely recognised PA on campus. A strict six-month regime of a decent diet and proper exercise had been transformational. He looked so much better. He said that he felt fantastic.

Meanwhile, DM was struggling. She had voluntarily stepped down from her senior role and taken on the task of allocating staff to desks in massive open plan offices. I lobbied for a corner desk, and also suggested that I was due a new Mac laptop.

Back at ‘home’ (in reality a temporary holiday let) TPR was dealing with my excessive food hoarding: fresh blueberries in a massive bowl on top of the tallest cupboards; cooked spaghetti under the sink; and spring onions forced between the taps and the kitchen wall.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Anneka Rice: meter reader, window cleaner (Belle)

Posted on July 26, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I was waiting for the window cleaner and was surprised to find Anneka Rice at the front door, holding a ladder and offering to read the electricity meter before she started cleaning. She was wearing a blue jumpsuit. I completely lost my cool, telling her how obsessed I had been with her in the 1980s, that Treasure Hunt had been the best television programme ever, I loved her and her jumpsuit and this was the happiest day of my life. I saw her smile freeze momentarily but she managed to disguise her discomfort as I welcomed her into the house.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Strip searching Robson Green (Belle)

Posted on July 26, 2023 by Dreamaticus

GH, Robson Green and I walked into the lobby of a publishing house and were directed to take the lift to the top floor. With a sinking feeling I realised I could not remember what we were there to discuss, and contemplated pretending I had lost my voice.

We sat down at the boardroom table and were joined by more and more people until the room was full. Glancing under the table I spotted four lapdogs doing synchronised somersaults. No one else seemed to think this unusual.

The mood in the room changed suddenly and the publishers turned aggressive. Their anger was directed at Robson Green – they announced he was to be forcibly strip searched and when I objected someone threw a blanket over me so I didn’t have to watch. GH and I escaped, but where was Robson? I felt guilty that we had left him behind and on the way to the train station I walked into a pub in Blackpool and arranged a singing gig for Robson with a man playing a squeezebox. My only problem now was how to let Robson know I had done this?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A trespasser and a rapist (Rousse)

Posted on July 25, 2023 by Dreamaticus

We sold our beautifully proportioned Georgian garden flat and now lived in a narrow town house in a shabby part of town.

We had been persuaded to move by the ‘potential’ of the vast cellar at the bottom of the building. Our neighbour was already hosting fabulous parties there, demonstrating the value of the space. The only problem was that the cellar wasn’t hers to use and we needed to find a way to tell her to cease and desist.

While TPR dealt with the neighbour, my colleague BP took me aside to complain to me about my university friend GW. Could I do anything to stop him promoting rape as recreation?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment