Obama announces spending freeze (Rousse)

Barack Obama (my husband) took me aside and made his proclamation: no longer could we afford to stay in hotels such as this. I argued that it befit our status only to reside at establishments where a medieval church bell hung over the entrance to our bedroom. Obama dismissed this as irrelevant: savings had to be made.

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Synchronised librarians (Belle)

It was a hot, sunny afternoon as we gathered on the top floor of a tall, tall building. Just about everyone ‘in the industry’ was there and the place was buzzing. 

I noticed SH, wearing a black gilet with hundreds of pockets and hooks.  At 1pm exactly, sandwiches were served and we were directed to watch out of the window.  Opposite, on top of One Canada Square, (Canary Wharf), SH and hundreds of librarians were abseiling, swinging on ropes and carrying out an elaborate synchronised dance routine.  This was quite a spectacle.

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A five-person tandem, fire engines, and the fuel shortage (Rousse)

Time was tight to reach the 12:00 rain from Waverley by tandem. However, the distance was quite short: straight up Broughton Street, past John Lewis, and down Calton Road into the back entrance of the station. Provided that everyone pedalled properly, we would make it.

It soon became obvious that a 5-person bicycle was too much to manage, and with diversions through (a) the fire station, where the fire-fighters were washing the engines, and (b) a seminar on the oil crisis, at which I made a brief contribution on the 1970s fuel shortage, I would surely miss my train.

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Business information sources: the most loved guide (Rousse)

Before introducing BF and then me, CR stepped up to the podium and waved a copy of Navigating business information sources: a practical guide for information managers in the air. The audience members cheered wildly. Published almost two decades ago and now completely out of date, it was extraordinary that this little book prompted such an emotional response amongst the conference participants. They must have really, really loved it as students.

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Primary school reunion mission thwarted (Rousse)

This was – apparently – a Hartburn Primary School reunion. We were given the run of the school itself. I enjoyed a quick peek in the kitchens, which hadn’t changed a jot in 40 years.

My main quarry, however, was PC. ECM was keen to make contact with him and had appointed me as her go-between since she was unable to attend. Lunchtime might have been a good time to make contact, but proved to be a missed opportunity when TPR (conscious of my mission) was too shy to raise the issue with PC (seated right next to him).

After the meal I followed PC to a stone wall at the edge of the field and finally broached the subject of ECM’s suggestion. He dismissed it outright, paying more attention to the recent arrival of one of the biggest school bullies (and, incidentally, the girl responsible for the scar on my right knee). He also expressed surprise that I was carrying a camera around with me. “This is a school reunion” I replied, “And it is customary to take photos at events such as this”.

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Single bed shocker (Rousse)

We visited ECM on the last day of our three week holiday. ECM’s children were nowhere to be seen, and KJ had replaced PW as her husband. The set-up of their flat was also rather surprising. On the upper level ECM worked in a tiny artist’s studio, lined with black bookcases that held exactly the same set of books that every woman of my generation owns. The mezzanine was largely empty, save for a single bed in the middle and a flower border at the far end. The actual bedroom was downstairs, where it doubled up as a kitchen equipped with the latest gadgets. There didn’t seem to be a bathroom.

While ECM busied herself making a simple supper of vegetables tied up in paper parcels, TPR dug a new flower bed in the mezzanine room, and I lay on the mezzanine bed listening to Pink Floyd’s Wish you were here through Bose headphones.

I was trying to make sense of the furniture in the room that I had spied downstairs. Were those really two single beds? Why had separate sleeping arrangements become attractive to my friends so soon in their married life?

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Car driver clones while at the wheel (Rousse)

I was so terrified by the experience in the car that someone else had to undress me at our final destination. My trauma was caused my the sight of JC self-replicating over and over again in the driver’s seat. By the end of the journey there were seven JC clones travelling with us, and I was a nervous wreck.

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How to stop your kids fighting at mealtimes (Rousse)

I found it a lonely experience eating my dinner in my parents’ vast dining room at a table all to myself. I also observed that the servants had to cover so much extra ground when forced to serve the same food to all the different tables.

When I objected to this ludicrous table layout my parents wearily responded “This is the only way to stop you and your sisters fighting at mealtimes”.

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Rousse the cheat cyclist

I spent a happy afternoon pedalling along country lanes with SC at my side. The effort was somewhat easier for me that for my friend. Not only did my bike have a secret motor, but attached to the side was a skateboard for all the downhill stretches.

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Rousse’s precious bra stash

The men rounded us all up and confiscated our valuables, including mobile phones. We women were trapped with no means of calling for help.

JW soon emerged as our leader. She reminded us all that our most precious (and also incriminating) possessions were now our identity documents. Under no circumstances should we reveal them. I stuffed mine down my bra and hoped for the best.

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