Tattoo removal priorities (Rousse)

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Dreamaticus

JC chose to “wear” my face when she joined me on the hockey field. Seeing them on someone else, I immediately resolved to do something about my dreadful double chins. The first priority, however, was to find a way of removing the two labels tattooed into the lower sections of each cheek.

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Lambs to the slaughter (Rousse)

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Dreamaticus

We were living in temporary accommodation with a flock of sheep until our move south was complete. Something had gone horribly wrong overnight, possibly due to my carelessness with a canteen of cutlery. I’d dropped it down the staircase and killed several baby lambs on the ground floor below.

“We’ll have to compensate the farmer”, said TPR. “How much does a lamb cost – £300?”

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Greedy guts Rousse eats her way round Hartburn

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Hartburn had changed. The corner shop at the junction of Darlington Road and Hartburn Village that used to be a newsagent now sold electrical items, as did all the other small businesses located near to the Stockton Arms. Hartburn Village itself was no longer an extended crescent of pretty houses and well-kept gardens, but a drab row of mean terraced houses. The only exception was at the western junction with Darlington Road opposite Elmwood, where the T family’s bungalow had been replaced by a modern monstrosity, said to be the home of a mobster and his extended family.

I called into the Masham for breakfast. Then I wandered up to the Parkwood for a mid-morning snack. When my mother appeared and asked when I would be coming home for lunch I said I’d be back soon, although I was ashamed that my greediness from earlier on meant that it was highly unlikely that I would manage to stuff any more food inside me.

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Camera software update problems (Rousse)

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Dawn was breaking when I heard the strange noises outside. I drew the curtains and opened the shutters to investigate. Our garden had transformed into an urban wildlife park. My father was there playing the role of zoo keeper, busy feeding the squirrels, hedgehogs, and rare birds with grain from his pockets. I rushed to the kitchen to find my camera and capture the scene.

I was delighted with all my photos, especially the one of the baby hedgehogs lodged into the garden wall like a set of spiky formation dancers. I couldn’t wait to the upload the series of shots to my photo journal and see what everyone else thought of my urban wildlife scenes. But then disaster struck: a message appeared on my camera screen to say that to operate it again I needed to update the software, and that the first stage of updating the software was to wipe all the photos in memory.

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Blipfoto photography genius (Rousse)

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

JT wanted me to get involved in a new project at Blipfoto, so I travelled over to his house in Glasgow to meet him. CI joined us later. JT gave me a pile of leaflets and brochures made from the highest quality paper and asked me to distribute them around the university, and at the Edinburgh Coffee Morning. He wanted as many people as possible to become involved in the project and I was the right person to ensure that this would be the case.

When it was time for me to leave JT lent me the train fare back to Edinburgh and accompanied me to the station by bus. On the way there I noticed from the bus window a beautiful perfectly-formed black cloud hovering just a couple of metres above ground. JT whipped out his camera and took a shot of it. I looked on enviously at the amazing picture that he captured. I knew for certain that if I had tried to do the same, my own feeble effort would just have been a messy blur.

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New York dinosaur cargo (Rousse)

Posted on October 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

The rooms on the second floor of the cliff house were furnished in the same fashion of my childhood home and I was keen to show them to the students. However, the curator would not let us enter. Students were restricted to the first floor of the building only. We all wandered back outside again, disappointed.

A sight far more spectacular than a collection of old furniture and pictures awaited us there. From our vantage point on the cliff edge we observed a fleet of enormous war ships heading northwards. Each carried a precious and exotic cargo on deck: hundreds of huge, wild, howling dinosaurs.

The direction of the ships indicated that their final destination was New York. We could see the sky scrapers just visible through the grey in the far distance, and the first dinosaurs arriving in port. Were they expected in town, I wondered?

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Partying takes precedence over painting (Rousse)

Posted on October 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

DT and KJ bought a big house to renovate and sell before moving to the US. Their crazy work and party schedules got in the way and not a single can of paint was opened.

Guests at the big farewell bonfire and barbecue didn’t care about the state of the house. Our goal was to ensure that we threw the best party ever – and that everyone in the neighbourhood knew. I also needed a new cover for my iPhone and hoped that DT would give me one of her spares as a leaving present.

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‘Men at Work’ and a treasure trove (Belle)

Posted on October 28, 2012 by Dreamaticus

While walking past New Cross Gate bus garage I saw something sparkling on the floor near a ‘Men at Work’ sign. Stooping to pick it up, I immediately realised I had found a rare ‘old mixed platinum’ bracelet and my future was secured.

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Hairdressing and surgery (Rousse)

Posted on October 27, 2012 by Dreamaticus

While J enjoyed pampering at the hands of the visiting office hairdresser, her partner N was undergoing an intimate surgical procedure at the clinic. “You’d never persuade me to go into hospital for THAT!” said TPR.

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Jane Garvey lies about her student days (Rousse)

Posted on October 27, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Jane Garvey broadcast to the world from her little desk. It was incredibly low-tech, but this was all she needed as the voice of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.

I was always on the look-out for any references that Garvey might make to her undergraduate days at the University of Birmingham. When she said on air that as a student she lived in a house without central heating I gave her a hard stare. “OK”, she confessed, “I exaggerate. It was always nice and cosy at the Manor House”.

Later I asked Garvey whether she would welcome programme ideas from listeners. She replied that this was encouraged so I passed on two suggestions straightaway. First, I thought it was high time that Woman’s Hour ran a feature on the early retired. Second, I wondered whether the BBC might be willing to fund some research on public libraries.

Later Garvey showed us around her modest bedroom. There was barely space for a single bed. The only clue that this was the home of the renowned broadcaster was a Radio 4 programme schedule sellotaped to the flimsy wall.

See Jane Garvey elsewhere on Dreamaticus: Jane Garvey acrobat commentary, bad taste in clothes, and slum living (Rousse).

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