Rousse prepares breakfast

I busied myself making bacon sandwiches in the upstairs kitchen of the White House.

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Coke addict gives herself away with a tap to the nose (Rousse)

I thought I was doing well at the training session where we were learning how to turn exam papers into comedy performances: my multiple choice questions were hilarious. What a shame that nobody else shared my sense of humour.

After a while we became a little suspicious of the workshop leader. Every time she claimed that the next activity would be fun she tapped her left nostril. C and I read this as a sign of coke addiction.

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A visit to the Indigo bed and breakfast (Rousse)

The Indigo bed and breakfast was in Cunningsburgh, Shetland. TPR had dumped the bike elsewhere so we caught the bus to the village. Once again I was astonished at the reach of service of Lothian Buses.

We asked for directions to Indigo Street or Indigo Square. Nobody seemed to have heard of the Indigo bed and breakfast – not even the oldest residents gathered in a field singing hymns as part of the entertainment at the agricultural show. Then someone suggested that perhaps the strange structure on Gallow Hill might be our destination?

By now I had lost TPR so I made my way up the hill on foot by myself. Near the top I came across an enclosed metal spiral staircase about three times the height of a telephone box. The bus driver encouraged me to start climbing. I was terrified due to my claustrophobia, but I had no choice so worked my way up to the top. There I knocked over a plate of oil balanced on one of the staircase struts and the contents fell on to a pale cream carpet in the house below.

I now knew for certain that I had found the Indigo bed and breakfast. It was just a pity that the hostess was going to get such a bad first impression of me.

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Con-woman cleaner confuses clients with ridiculous rates of pay (Rousse)

The plump red-headed woman offered her services to us as a cleaner. What made her work superior (so she claimed) was her approach to doing the laundry, and the sliding scale for each type of service.

I didn’t buy into the notion that each load of washing could be assigned a particular grade, and that for this reason should be costed differently. Surely you just add a bit more detergent when you’re washing muddy sports gear? If you were to employ this woman as your cleaner, you’d just end up paying her to press the buttons on the washing machine while the essential work of dusting, hoovering, wiping and polishing would go undone.

In any case, we had the wonderful J, and we weren’t looking for anyone new.

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Melvyn Bragg’s editor, boasts about the Sound of Music, and other distractions keep Rousse away from class

Now that it was December I no longer objected to the Christmas displays in the shops. I was even becoming more tolerant of the members of the sect who queued up every day in their drab black uniforms for the special church services at the Tron.

I was deep in thought about the tyranny of religion when I suddenly wondered out loud what day and time it was. “Thursday, 11:30am” announced a man next to me. Thursday 11:30am? Was it still term time? Yikes, I shouldn’t be wandering around town: I should be in the front of a class of final year undergraduates!

In some respects it was inevitable that it would come to this. I’d had so much fun over the previous three days – country walks along the River Dee with TPR, revisiting old haunts in Shetland (where I met a freelance Radio 4 editor who worked on Melvyn Bragg’s In our time), learning how to use a professional camera with KT, and astonishing strangers with my poor knowledge of cinema (trumping all with my claim “I have yet to see The sound of music“) – that I had completely forgotten that I had teaching commitments on campus. Indeed, if pushed, I might not even have admitted that I had a job.

Then, with great relief I remembered that my colleague BB had offered to give a guest lecture in the morning session of my class this week. So long as I reached campus by 13:00, all would be well.

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University redeployment policy disappoints (Rousse)

I bumped into KA in a newly opened museum in Newcastle. She was not pleased. Sunderland University had just offered her redeployment as a departmental secretary.

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Is librarianship a profession? Rousse joins the debate

A beautiful couple entered the children’s reading room. She was a tall, elegant African woman in a blue and white midi dress. He was also tall, handsome and clearly devoted to his companion. If not lovers, they might have been brother and sister.

They couldn’t decide which book to choose so they approached the library staff for advice. I overheard their enquiry, phrased to include the term “librariany skills”.

Librariany skills?!” I shouted. “These workers are professionals. Please show some respect!”

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Bus cliff fall accident (Rousse)

Out walking one day I came across an elderly couple beside the cliff edge. A bus drove by, ran over the verge, and tumbled into the sea. I nearly followed.

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Conference mismanagement and a plague of nits (Rousse)

I was attempting – and failing – to run a one-day conference without any help. By 3pm the delegates had completed their activities and were bored and fidgety, but I couldn’t deal with them because someone had left a door open at the back of the hall and strangers were using the conference venue as a thoroughfare.

Then a whole host of new delegates arrived! How would I cope? Thank goodness that CI was among them and soon set to work allocating badges to the new arrivals.

With CI in charge I now had the chance to leave the venue for a short break. Outside in the street I found something strange in my hair. It felt like a seed, so I pulled it from my head, and broke its shell in the process. I was completely unprepared for what happened next: I watched in horror as thousands of nit-like insects escaped into the open.

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Synchronised surf-boarding and questions of copyright at Birmingham University main library (Rousse)

Single study rooms were at a premium in Birmingham University’s main library, especially the ones with beds. Fortunately I managed to secure one for myself, although I was disappointed to find that the sheets were torn. The last user had also left behind a couple of photos. The most interesting of these was a black and white shot of the Team GB’s gold medal-winning synchronised surf-boarding team in action.

The owner of the photographs returned later, expecting that I would return her belongings and give her access to the study room again. Instead she got an earful on copyright from me and AM (as reinforcement). We felt that this was our professional duty given our suspicion that this student was going to use the pictures in her final year dissertation without due acknowledgement.

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