The conference trap (Rousse)

I was trapped at yet another dreary conference for PhD students. By Day 2 most people had given up on the programme and headed back to their offices to get on with some “real” work. Unfortunately for me, I was obliged to sit through a series of technical papers on random topics in which I had no interest whatsoever. Of all my colleagues only RGJ remained in the auditorium, accompanied by her two pre-school children.

“Someone really needs to do something about the format of these events”, I thought, just as the session chair asked my opinion of training events for doctoral students in chemistry.

To make best use of the time I started writing a paper on the delivery of CPD training to Scottish librarians, then shared this with my former colleague JW, who was seated next to me. Another welcome distraction was to pass breakfast items along the row. For some reason these foodstuffs were highly relevant to the paper currently being delivered on stage.

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New aqua spa opens at John Lewis (Rousse)

I’d barely tripped back to work in my green snakeskin stiletto heels when I heard my boss shrieking. Poor OM was being told emphatically that what he had heard from CI was not true.

When my boss caught sight of me, she ushered me into her office to ask me what I thought was the strategy for managing our workloads. “We carry out the tasks as allocated”, I answered robotically, hoping that this was the answer that she hoped for. I then outlined my plans for 2013/14.

Afterwards I tried to find my room in John Lewis. EH – wearing vile boiler insulation jacket styled overcoat – attempted to help me. My office could not be found: it had been demolished to make way for the new John Lewis aqua spa.

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Rousse’s New York Rolls Royce ride

I was not normally impressed by cars, but when JG’s New York gangster father drew up in a yellow chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce I could not wait to leap inside and go for a ride with all his cronies.

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Mac swap scam alert (Rousse)

Such was the value of my most recent research report that it had been translated into Swedish. I was about to boast about this when SL pointed out that it looked like someone had “swapped” Macs with me. The one now in my possession was much inferior to my own.

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A dress maker takes a break (Rousse)

After a lovely bike ride along the river MSB and I went back to her flat and chatted. This made a welcome change from sewing garments.

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Norwegian munitions cache explodes in central London (Rousse)

ETS soon brought me up to speed on what I had missed at the conference so far. I was delighted when she reported how much she was enjoying the event.

After the evening session we joined a bus tour of central London. The enthusiastic guide told us all about an unreported World War II explosion. A Norwegian munitions cache in Westminster went up with a bang when it was accidentally ignited one night in the early 1940s.

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A polite Newcastle audience (Rousse)

After spending the night at JM ‘s house, I delivered a guest lecture at Northumbria University. Everyone was terribly friendly, listened intently, and kindly ignored my orange stained pale blue suit.

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Chasing Rupert Grint in the dark (Rousse)

My sister J and I walked along the middle of Darlington Road as far as the junction with Kenton Close. The houses were spaced out more widely than we remembered, in a landscape of lush green fields and rolling hills.

As we approached the White House J warned me that we were about to leave my dream and enter hers. We marched across the snow field, pushed open the front door, then chased through the dark corridors in pursuit of Rupert Grint.

Read more about Rupert Grint in Time-travelling Rupert Grint (as Ron Weasley) greets Rousse in the Kingdom of Fife.

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McKinsey incentive holidays trump cinema trip with criminologists (Rousse)

“I flew first class with 90 Russians, and we ate like kings both on the outward and return journeys” boasted TT.

“Who did you work for?” I asked. When he answered “McKinsey” it all made sense.

The incentive event that we were attending on this occasion was not quite so luxurious – although I was looking forward to watching Toy Story with the criminologists.

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Garden overhaul leaves daughters unimpressed (Rousse)

My parents had been busy upgrading the White House. In the garden beneath the arched window they had laid a marble pétanque board, there were exercise hoops installed next to the summer house, and a red outdoors telephone where one would expect to find the back door.

Unfortunately they had forgotten to add any proper entrances to the house. Instead we were expected to get in and out by climbing through a window. “I’m not up to this!” I cried, citing my advanced age.

Meanwhile my sister S gazed up at me from where she lay motionless in the pond.

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