Contempt for the holiday slacker (Rousse)

SW turned to me and snarled “You need to contact Alan H in the Business School. It’s urgent”.

She just couldn’t disguise her contempt for a colleague who had the temerity to take a holiday at Easter.

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A party and a parade (Belle)

I had no idea how KOB, my former assistant, had got the money to move into this gothic castle and host this extravagant party.   However, I did know that I had been over-dressed for the afternoon session but was now under-dressed for the evening.  I watched my friend, Y, arrive in a stunning cherry red, full-length gown, dripping with diamonds.  How had I got the formality of the occasion so wrong – and why had I brought my dog as my ‘plus one’?

Outside the window, the Boys’ Brigade band was marching through the graveyard.  I loved a parade and started to enjoy the party.

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A diamond-studded solid gold hedgehog dilemma (Rousse)

When I gave away the silk cloak that came free in the cornflakes box to two colleagues in the school office, I never expected it to be the one that contained the diamond-studded solid gold hedgehog.

Now I faced a terrible dilemma. Did I insist that the prize was really mine (since I was the one who paid for the breakfast cereal), or let my colleagues sell the jewel and retire on the proceeds?

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Teenager drowns in bog (Rousse)

Driving from the back seat, TPR managed to spot a parking space not far from the market and other attractions. When we left the car and started to walk back towards town I noticed a sinister sign. Somewhere beneath us was the body of a missing 19 year old girl, presumed to have drowned in the bog, exactly 100 years earlier in 1914.

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Animals of unfixed species, gender and sexuality (Rousse)

I knew that my boss wouldn’t mind if I took a small tin of lip salve from the supply that she kept in her office drawer. I needed it for the forthcoming PhD studentship interviews, along with a glass of water for each candidate.

When I saw her later that day, my boss confirmed that I had done the right thing. Then she returned to her main preoccupation of switching form from “lady in a fluffy purple jumper” to “tiny, sleek, black cat”.

Meanwhile G recounted tales of a recent date. Doubts were raised regarding the gender and sexuality of the potential suitor on the grounds of strange lumps visible on the throat and chest.

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Black cab illegally parked in Leith: shoeless couple sought (Rousse)

We were late for our anniversary dinner at the upstairs restaurant on Commercial Street in Leith. I pulled on my pale blue cotton shift dress from Monsoon, and TPR dragged me out of the house. We were in such a rush that I had no time to put on any underwear, and neither of us wore shoes.

By the time we reached the corner of Leith Walk and Great Junction Street we were still running very late. Forgoing footwear had actually slowed us down rather than sped us up, and the soles of our feet were filthy and sore. This called for drastic action – so we stole an empty black cab for the remainder of the journey.

We dumped the car in a “permit holders only” spot on cobbles next to the Water of Leith, making sure that we wiped our fingerprints off the steering wheel and bodywork before sprinting the last few metres to the restaurant.

At first I thought we had the wrong place. The woman who greeted us at the door, dressed in the style of an American diner waitress, was handing out e-number laden candies. When I asked what had happened to the curries, she assured me that our table was ready upstairs – as were Denis and Saskia, waiting to serve us.

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Party disaster (Rousse)

My fiftieth birthday celebration was a disaster. Everything was wrong:

  1. The timing – a Wednesday lunchtime when everyone was at work
  2. The venue – a boring hotel dining room in rainy Manchester
  3. The guest list – dreary external work colleagues (some of whom I did not even know), plus my poor parents who had nothing in common with the former
  4. The speeches – nobody wanted to listen to mine
  5. The food – dull, dull, dull

If only JC had been there, then everything would have been so much better.

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Icing sugar icons and a PhD viva re-run (Rousse)

While JA was making pastel button-sized icons out of icing sugar, PL ran some sophisticated programs on his laptop. To begin with they worked silently side by side. Then PL started interrogating JA about his PhD.

This raised so many questions:

  • What were the icing sugar icons for?
  • Why was JA going to the trouble of making them when you could buy them in the shops?
  • When did PL learn computer programming?
  • How did JA ever survive his PhD viva?
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I was Anne of Green Gables and newly married to Gilbert Blythe. For now, however, I was serving as a nurse in World War I.

Somehow I had lost my ‘ward trolley’ and was forced to push a bulky office desk around the hospital.

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An office affair (Rousse)

Each day that I turned up on campus I discovered that I had a new office. The problem was that they kept packing up my belongings and dumping them in a new location without first removing those of the previous occupant. The fourth time that this happened I found that I had two televisions and several clumps of random electrical equipment to dispose of. KC and GMcC couldn’t wait to get their hands on it.

When I complained to X he gave me a master key for all the offices on campus. Then he climbed into bed with me for the rest of the afternoon. I didn’t mind at all, but he was not happy at all when the news of our secret tryst leaked out.

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