A dead grandmother, a muscular tramp, and a lost wallet (Rousse)

I spent the night before the dinner at my Granny T’s house. She was looking remarkably well – and indeed fashionable – for someone who had been dead for twenty years.

On the evening of the big event itself I elected to walk to the venue. I hoped that none of the other guests who passed by in their cars would stop to offer me a lift.

On the pavement I saw a brown leather wallet. I bent down to pick it up just as a muscular tramp grabbed it. He flung it along the street. I raced him for it. In spite of all my running training, my sprint speed was not as good as that of my competitor. He pulled a few notes from the wallet and left it on the ground. I picked it up and pocketed the remaining £60 or so. This was for security reasons: if the tramp came after the wallet again, he could have it, but the cash would be safe.

I then came across three young men on a business trip. One suddenly noticed that his wallet was missing. I suggested that the one that I had found might be his. We decided to check this officially at the bank.

Unfortunately the bank was just closing. We would have to wait until the next day to sort this out.

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A party castle and six in a bed (Rousse)

We’d been sharing our big double bed with four PhD students for some time when one day I found a gift bag on my pillow. Inside there was a bottle of wine and a card. The present was from F’s father, and the card included a party invitation to his house in the Pentlands.

F’s father’s house turned out not to be a house at all, but an enormous turreted castle with beautiful views across the Borders countryside. I mentioned to TPR how cross I was that I had forgotten to bring the camera. We struggled a bit to get up to the upper levels when we mistakenly attempted to climb a spiral staircase (there were even notches in the wall to help) without realising that there was a more accessible route. We eventually reached the rest of the party guests and had a fabulous time.

At home afterwards we wondered how we would break the news to F and the other PhD students that we were evicting them from our room. From now on they would be sleeping in single beds in the spare bedroom, and we would get our own bed back to ourselves.

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An audience with James Herriot (Rousse)

When I heard the exciting news that the guest speaker was James Herriot (or, more precisely, James Alfred Wight) I altered my plans so that I could stay a bit longer at Sighthill and meet the famous veterinary surgeon turned author. I was keen to relate to him all our personal connections.

I managed to speak to Mr Herriot before the talk. I explained who I was to him and his “minder” son. He kindly acknowledged my chatter.

The talk itself did not go as well as expected. Mr Herriot’s voice was so weak that it just didn’t carry to the audience – probably because he’d been dead for almost twenty years.

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Library and information science at Birmingham Polytechnic (Rousse)

I met HW and her daughter I (who now also wished to be known as H) at a swimming pool public library. There we had a long conversation about Birmingham Polytechnic, my former colleagues, and the benefit of part-time undergraduate study for library and information science qualifications.

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A sister’s fame in the Anglican community (Rousse)

I always thought that I was well networked, but now I wondered whether it was just a common family trait. All the new people that I met in London instantly recognised me as “the sister of J”.

Most astonishing of all was my sister’s standing in the Church of England: every bishop knew her name.

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Sleeping with Claire Skinner (Rousse)

Claire Skinner was fast becoming my best friend. Throughout the whole time I spent with her she behaved as if we had known one another for years. We lay side by side in a big double bed at night, chatting like a couple of teenage sisters until we eventually drifted off to sleep.

I joked that I could now boast that I had slept with a famous actor. Claire very generously agreed that this was hilarious.

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Hugh Jackman hosts 2020 tech movers and shakers event (Rousse)

TPR and I pulled off the highway and took the first exit into what looked like a garden centre. It turned out to be a massive restaurant for geeks – six years in the future.

By 2020 Hugh Jackman was a world-famous tech guru. He had invited us to this restaurant in California so that he could add our autographs to his book Movers and shakers of the tech industry in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries.

DT and KJ were also on the guest list following their successful stints in the US. Unfortunately JLW could not make it, but we thought of her as DT passed around some photos from the “old days” back in 2014.

When I signed my autograph I added my middle initial – because that’s what all Americans expect you to do.

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Puppy punished for tormenting baby panda, weasel, and badger (Rousse)

When BP took over one of my roles at work I did not expect him to undertake duties at my house as well. He set to work raking up the leaves from the back lawn. Then he looked after the puppy that I had sent outside as punishment for tormenting the baby panda, the weasel and the badger.

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When home improvements go wrong (Rousse)

When I walked into the kitchen I noticed that TPR had moved some of the appliances. A huge white freezer stood in the hob’s usual spot, and next to it was the tumble dryer. I also spotted that the sink was over by the dresser. Then I saw that the existing sink hadn’t moved at all. The one by the dresser was just another sink: there was now a total of four in the room. A further change was the installation of a white formica island in the middle of the kitchen.

When I peered through to the sitting room I saw that this was also a complete mess, crammed with new furniture. In the hall one of the cupboards had been transformed into a (rather random, and tiny) en suite bedroom.

TPR explained that all these changes were the result of his “hard work” while I had been at the office all day. I responded with two concerns: how would the decorator get in to repaper the sitting room walls, and how would we ever manage to sell the house in the future with this new, and very peculiar, layout?

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A pirate themed wedding (Rousse)

The pirate themed wedding was a great success, although the groom confessed to me in private that he regretted missing the opportunity to show off his magic tricks. My parents enjoyed themselves immensely – even my poor father who was nursing a broken hand. I was particularly grateful that I had worn flat shoes for the dancing.

With my own nuptials in the not too distant future a couple of wedding guests made enquiries about our plans. I explained that TPR was keeping the arrangements for the celebrations secret from me. All I knew was that the venue was in the Borders.

When they moved on to TPR to question him directly, he gave very guarded responses. I did learn, however, that CC was our wedding planner, and that she knew everything.

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