Dame Jocelyn Bell Burnell and the strange shoe switch (Rousse)

TPR and I were staying temporarily in a small rented apartment along with DTJ and her toddler son JJ, who slept in a curtained off area at the far end of the sitting room.

On a day when I should have been packing for a long trip (and putting away the Christmas tree and other decorations that we had brought with us from another rental apartment) I took a wander outside before breakfast. I had only walked a few paces when I saw Dame Jocelyn Bell Burnell (dressed in a pale blue suit) sail past me on her bicycle. I attempted a weak wave, unsure as to whether or not she would remember me. She waved back in recognition.

A few minutes later Dame Jocelyn, minus bike, joined me on my morning exercise. I explained that I usually went as far as the mountain pass, but today I would turn round when we reached the village.

Mid-way through the walk we hit snow so, because I had Dame Jocelyn with me, I hailed a taxi for the stretch across the high ground. The taxi ride was uneventful until it came to paying our fare of £2.60 plus tip. I expected the driver to return my shoes to me at this point (he’d taken them off me when I had climbed inside his vehicle), but the ‘pair’ that was passed back to me comprised two left feet. It was as though my shoes had been betwitched.

I asked Dame Jocelyn if this was scientifically possible, but she was unable to provide an explanation for the strange shoe switch.

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Just another divorce day casualty (Rousse)

TPR spent Christmas in the far north of the Shetland Islands, miles away from me and the rest of the family. The evidence was there a parish magazine: a photograph of TPR seated next to a vicar at Christmas dinner in a remote village hall.

TPR used the contents of the magazine as proof that divorce was inevitable. Normally he would not tolerate the company of a man of the cloth. This picture revealed the lengths to which he would go to to shun me. Now I should prepare myself to admit to all our friends and family that our marriage was over.

I was devastated. We would be the topic of much gossip for months to come. In addition, I would probably now be obliged to make my holiday arrangements with BNX. She was in the same position as me having recently been abandoned by DPX.

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Distracted by next season’s fashion must-haves and Harry Potter in French (Rousse)

At the height of summer I was living in North Berwick and working in Edinburgh, desperate to finish the data analysis and write-up of my second PhD. On the days that I couldn’t cadge a lift along the by-pass with my mother, the commuting was costing me a fortune in train fares.

However, I found it difficult to concentrate on my work. I was far more interested in sorting out my summer wardrobe and reading Harry Potter novels in French.

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Apple interface problems (Rousse)

My new iPhone infuriated me. I was trying to contact JM and BR in London to check the venue of the conference dinner that evening, but the device’s interface was so poor that I couldn’t operate its telephone function. It was as if Apple had deliberately designed out the facility to make phone calls in order to keep customers on the web, permanently exposed to online advertising.

Meanwhile I was wondering how I could help my sister SEH with her iPad. She had downloaded 3000 apps without assigning them to folders. No wonder she could never find anything.

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Boobs at breakfast and John Humphrys at the Job Centre (Rousse)

Although I was first in the queue at the Job Centre, I had to wait an age to be seen because John Humphrys was ahead of me, interviewing the woman behind the desk.

I wondered whether it was worth waiting. I was actually nearly two hours too early for walk-in appointments for the newly-redundant, and TPR and AA would be expecting me for breakfast in TPR’s new flat (so long as I remembered to cover my bare breasts with a pyjama top).

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Back to work in boxer shorts (Rousse)

Dressed in thin cotton boxer shorts, I arrived back at work after the Christmas holiday to find that someone had moved my desk into a shabby shared office with FR, IB, IH and SS. Here it was freezing cold, the paintwork was peeling, the electricity cables were exposed, and the ceiling looked as if it was about to fall in.

The room was a death trap and we couldn’t possibly remain there. I volunteered to organise a further move.

In the meantime, however, there was work to be done. I helped CFS beef up a grant proposal, and waited hours with PC for a meeting in a corridor with AD and another colleague.

Nobody commented on my new office attire, but I knew that they had noticed it.

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Human harpoon target practice (Rousse)

When TPR took up membership of an exclusive club I hoped that I would soon receive an invitation myself.

However, TPR was dead set against my joining him once he discovered the main reason for bringing in new recruits: so that the older members could practise harpoon techniques on live human subjects.

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Exam scripts and snogging in the School office (Rousse)

There were strange goings-on in the School office.

Admin staff were marking exam scripts with the authority of (retired) lecturer RK. ‘It’s easy enough to check that the numbers at the end of the calculations are the same as in the model answers’ explained KT.

Meanwhile, just back from a funeral, two male colleagues snatched a kiss at a table. Was this public display of affection more shocking than their decision not to wear black ties to the service? (I had to admit that I liked the pheasant pattern on one of the ties.)

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A boyfriend returns (Rousse)

KA danced at the bottom of the staircase in a fluffy pink bolero. One year ago she hardly mentioned AO. Now he was here too.

Afterwards we went for a walk. KA’s daughter R was ahead of us, alone and distracted. ‘That’ll be because her boyfriend Todd just dumped her’ explained KA.

However, by the time we reached the main road R had a spring in her step and Todd at her side. Apparently reunited, they disappeared into a café for the afternoon.

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A February break in Cornwall (Rousse)

TPR and I took a holiday in Cornwall where the beaches were golden, the sky and sea were blue, and the weather unseasonably warm for February.

My only complaint was that our accommodation was well below standard. We did not appreciate having to share a dormitory with other families and groups of friends.

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