Category Archives: Uncategorized

Monkey on drugs (Belle)

Posted on May 27, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Now that the monkey had moved into my childhood home, I realised just how easily I had been tricked. Far from liking me, it became obvious that it was simply looking for somewhere comfortable to take heroin.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged drugs, heroin, monkey | Leave a comment

Jonathan Ross’ theatre date and a threat of war in Edinburgh (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Every time that we stopped to take a photo on our walk along the headland the gap between us and Jonathan Ross narrowed. Eventually he was so close behind us that we could hear every word he shared with his … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bin, bins, bomber, bombers, bread, date, daughter, deliver, deliveries, delivery, Edinburgh, estate, foyer, freezer, headland, Jonathan Ross, Omni Centre, photo, photograph, photographs, photography, photos, theatre, university, VIP, VIPs, workaholism | Leave a comment

The forgotten poet (Belle)

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Rousse had set the pub quiz question feeling confident that I would know the answer. It was true, I did remember the poet’s brief musical career, his reworking of Gawain and the Green Knight and his northerness. But I just … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged poet, pub quiz, Rousse, Simon Armitage, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Yorkshire | Leave a comment

The first Apple iPad3 hits Britain as an unexpected pregnancy is revealed (Rousse)

Posted on May 25, 2011 by Dreamaticus

I was so impressed with myself as the owner of an iPad3. Nobody else had one: only me. TPR, however, was throughly sick of my obsession with Apple products. As far as he was concerned, the iPad3 looked very much … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged apple, British Library, dinghy, Edinburgh, Euston Road, garage, husband, iPad, iPad3, iPod, pregnant, shed, Sinclair C5, TPR | Leave a comment

David Cameron’s seven-pack centrefold – plus numerous other adventures, including one at Buckingham Palace (Rousse)

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Dreamaticus

At first I was thrilled to be resident at Buckingham Palace. However, I hadn’t understood that once welcomed in, there was little prospect of getting out. I begged the security staff to show me the exit, explaining how much I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged art, bed, bikes, Buckingham Palace, car, cars, centre-fold, cigarette, cycling, Daily Mail, David Cameron, dormitory, Dorset, dream, ferry, Harris, holiday, Holy Island, installation, Isle of Skye, Lindisfarne, Lindisfarne Castle, magazine, meeting, Nancy Cameron, politics, prime minister, royal family, running, security, seven-pack, six-pack, smoking, torso, TPR, Uig, video | 1 Comment

Lulu and Morrissey in surprising duet (Belle)

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Dreamaticus

I was attempting to leave the function before the self congratulatory speeches when a global star of flamenco unexpectedly leapt onto the dancefloor. I was delighted until 250 overweight members of the public followed behind her. Then the spotlight illuminated … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged antiques, BBC, flamenco, Lulu, Morrissey, moustache, nightclub, rave, spotlight, Tony Bennett | Leave a comment

Rousse withdraws her favours and is instructed to vote

Posted on May 23, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Once again I was stuck in a lift, this time with a bunch of French engineering students from Nantes. The lift was formed in two parts shaped as a figure of eight. It only offered access to floors 16 and … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bag, birthday, card, cards, Christmas, cracker, crackers, eight, engineer, engineers, France, French, lift, marking, Nantes, nylon, present, presents, silver, voting, whistle, whistles, zip | Leave a comment

Peppa Pig, toast, and extreme sports in the Hebrides (Rousse)

Posted on May 21, 2011 by Dreamaticus

The grande finale of the Canadian delegation’s visit to Scotland was a massive dinner and ceilidh in Edinburgh. Conversation was so animated at my table that I broke three pairs of glasses while entertaining my own Canadian cousins. After three … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bag, Canada, Canadians, ceilidh, Christian, cliff, cliffs, cousins, dancing, dinner, Edinburgh, extreme, fertiliser, gay, glasses, grass, homosexual, Isle of Skye, parents, Peppa Pig, religion, same-sex, sect, sledging, sport, Stockton-on-Tees, toast, video, Waternish | 1 Comment

Gordon Brown in the background while Rousse begs bags for belongings

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Ugh – teenagers! I was helping two young friends pack up their university accommodation at the end of term. They were hopeless, unable to decide what to keep and what to throw away, virtually inert while I did all the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged accent, accommodation, American, bag, begging, boobs. weights, child, children, Danish, exercise, fairies, fairy, fake, Gordon Brown, gym, Liverpool, machine, personal trainer, single, snooze, space, stranger, tan, teenagers, Tesco, university, wings | Leave a comment

Sex, money and Green and Black chocolate: Rousse ponders some moral dilemmas

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Dreamaticus

It was a terrible moral dilemma. Not only were we the only ones who knew where the terrorists were holding the hostage, but it was also within our means to save him. I had already written out the cheque for … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged affair, cheque, chocolate, confession, dilemma, engineer, envelope, Green and Black, hostage, money, moral, post, sex, terrorists, TPR, victim | Leave a comment