Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nightmare at the Olympics (Belle)

Posted on August 9, 2012 by Dreamaticus

For a horrifying ten minutes, I was drafted into the Chinese men’s doubles table tennis semi-final match. As I walked towards the table in the arena, an official admitted the administrative error and took the bat out of my hands. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bat, egg, Olympics, table tennis | Leave a comment

The unfaithful husband (Rousse)

Posted on August 8, 2012 by Dreamaticus

To coincide with his retirement TPR admitted that over the course of our 25-year marriage he had slept with 21 different women (or 22, if he included me). Of these, he paid six for their services. I was relieved that … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged affair, affairs, Friends, hooker, hookers, husband, marriage, prostitute, prostitutes, TPR, unfaithful, whore, whores | Leave a comment

BCS rejects name badge recycling (Rousse)

Posted on August 8, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was another argument about badges that got me into trouble again. It was agreed that it would be useful for everyone to wear badges at the new series of evening networking sessions set up by the British Computer Society … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged BCS, British Computer Society, committee, event, holder, logo, network, networking, recycle, recycling, women | Leave a comment

Rousse recommends Rentokil

Posted on August 7, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I’d offered again and again to help, but this time it really was too late. K had finally admitted to her affair with Terry and (unsurprisingly) her boyfriend J had thrown her out. The only place that she could go … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged affair, boyfriend, clothes, flat, friend, hat, hats, pest, pests, Rentokil | Leave a comment

Hairy Star Wars sidekick Chewbacca comes to take Rousse home

Posted on August 6, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I arrived at the guest house by airborne bike. I had followed the route along the cycle path from its source in the Meadows, all the way to the white cliffs, taking care not to knock over the hundreds of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged antique, Arabian Sea, Arius, bay, bedroom, bike, Chewbacca, cliffs, cycle, Han Solo, landlady, Meadows, needlebooks, path, sea, Star Wars, walkers, whispers | Leave a comment

Alex Kapranos’ baby (Rousse)

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Dreamaticus

As was the tradition in my family, a member of the next generation volunteered to give birth to the child of a celebrity. So now I was a great aunt, and my 16-year old niece AF the mother of Alex … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Alex Kapranos, aunt, baby, birth, child, family, Franz Ferdinand, mother, niece, tradition | Leave a comment

JK Rowling bakes a mean meringue (Rousse)

Posted on August 1, 2012 by Dreamaticus

This is the tale of the day that JK Rowling and I finally secured our friendship. It didn’t start well… BR scolded me. He couldn’t understand why I thought it acceptable to walk the length of the railway line completely … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged art gallery, backside, bag, bare, Birmingham University, blonde, bottom, campus, casserole, chute, classical, concert, dish, friend, friendship, handbag, Harry Potter, home-made, JK Rowling, library, library assistant, line, meringue, meringues, music, naked, parents, party, performance, railway, readers, Reading, reading room, room, seating, sisters, student, students, sunshine, tea, track, University of Birmingham, woman | Leave a comment

The battle for glamour and a triumph over claustrophobia (Rousse)

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

This was very interesting: Mrs S versus Mrs W. Who would win the battle for glamour between the mothers of my friends VJ and JW? While they fought it out I pushed past the servants setting tables in the dining … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged battle, bravery, chimney, claustrophobia, dining room, fireplace, glamor, glamour, grate, Scotland the Best, servants, tables | Leave a comment

Secret plot of primary school friends (Rousse)

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Self-nominated Hartburn Primary School high achievers AG and ST took root at a committee table in my bedroom. I had no idea what they were plotting, but apart from the following Wednesday (when AG had to pop back to Stockton … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bedroom, committee, Friends, Hartburn, Hartburn Primary School, hospital, operation, plot, primary school, school, table | Leave a comment

Carrot soup success (Rousse)

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Our new butler was amazing. I’d only mentioned in passing the night before that I’d like my lunch at 06:30am the next day. At this precise time I awoke to finding him standing at the side of my bed, dressed … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bed, butler, carrot, lunch, soup, suit, tie, trousers | Leave a comment