Category Archives: Uncategorized

Yoga versus Radio 1’s dance fitness (Rousse)

It was 11:45 when I remembered that I was booked into a yoga class at 12:00. I ran all the way to the gym in the vain hope of reaching the studio in time. Alas, I was too late to … Continue reading

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Dawn French presides over Irish-Spanish wedding in private chapel of stately home (Rousse)

My in-laws held back the early morning visitors to their stately home while their staff vacuumed the Persian rugs. Meanwhile Dawn French, dressed in all her Vicar of Dibley garb, was busy setting up the private chapel for a wedding … Continue reading

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A London love affair (Rousse)

My mother-in-law pulled the sodden scrap of paper out of the stream, glanced at it, and quietly passed it to her husband. ‘That explains a lot. Now, at last, we know for certain what X has been up to!’ he … Continue reading

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Queen Elizabeth II’s dirty look (Rousse)

‘Would Your Majesty like to dismount here, or would you prefer to be dropped off closer to the entrance?’ I asked Queen Elizabeth II. Her dirty look was all it took for me to realise that my question was completely … Continue reading

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A forgetful bald friend and queuing for a flight to Denmark (Rousse)

With her bald head, RJ looked like a cancer patient. I said that I hoped that her family and friends knew that she had shorn off her hair to raise money for charity. Otherwise, they would be very worried about … Continue reading

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Trick-cycling, pogo-ing, and the real purpose of a private education (Rousse)

After watching a friend’s son trick-cycle his way down the yellow-painted banister of an Edinburgh tenement staircase, I took my pogo stick and bounced along the streets to my new girls’ school. So much for school fees: the teachers at … Continue reading

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Supper, sex, and Mrs McPherson (Rousse)

The nippy waitress was appalled at our amorous antics in the restaurant. She told us to get dressed while she reported our behaviour to the restaurant owner. ‘Report whatever you want’, I replied, ‘I doubt that Mrs McPherson will care.’ … Continue reading

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The six-inch shrunken body of Queen Victoria and illegal car manoeuvres (Rousse)

The old man cradled the six-inch shrunken body of Queen Victoria, then offered to lend me his hire car. This was perfect. Now I would be able to reach the river and take a lovely walk. I conveniently forgot that … Continue reading

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Luminous lime drinks at Olympia (Rousse)

It was early December and I was back at London Olympia for the first time in years. Even with my injured hand encased in a large, padded (and bloodied) glove, I was going to enjoy myself immensely. Unfortunately, however, I … Continue reading

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Stolen iPhone misery (Rousse)

While scrolling madly through incoming text and images on their mobile phones, the crush of teenage girls in the tube carriage shouted over the heads of all the other passengers. What vile behaviour, I thought. I realised that I should … Continue reading

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