Category Archives: Uncategorized

Secrets of Sir Ian Brindley’s affair hidden in porridge (Rousse)

Posted on August 21, 2017 by Dreamaticus

My cousin B finally revealed the solemn secret that she had been harbouring for years. During the war my grandfather had been in a relationship with Sir Ian Brindley. ‘There’s further information in there’, she said, pointing to the museum. … Continue reading →

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The value of writing concisely (Rousse)

Posted on August 20, 2017 by Dreamaticus

‘The greatest skill that we learnt as undergraduates’ announced JS to the audience seated before her on rows of hard wooden chairs ‘Is how to write concisely. I can turn one person’s long-winded paragraph into three neat sentences – as … Continue reading →

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Cocaine addiction and twins (Rousse)

Posted on August 19, 2017 by Dreamaticus

We helped out at a party in a top floor apartment hosted by two gay friends. Inevitably one of the young women became addicted to cocaine that very night. We drove home in TPR’s brand new black Golf GTi with … Continue reading →

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Greedy Labrador scoffs B&B guest’s burger and chips (Rousse)

Posted on August 16, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Mr and Mrs K ran a bed and breakfast in the Lake District. I visited with the intention of staying there to finish my first novel. I ordered burger and chips for my breakfast. The Ks’ yellow Labrador took a … Continue reading →

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A relation from Barnsley (Rousse)

Posted on August 15, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I recognised the man’s voice immediately, but what was my father doing at the conference? When he stood up I could tell that this wasn’t my father after all, but someone who sounded and looked like him. He was even … Continue reading →

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Robbie Williams’ secret of song-writing success (Rousse)

Posted on August 13, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Robbie Williams explained his secret of song-writing success. ‘If you listen carefully, all my tunes are simply up and down scales with added lyrics’.

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Stars on a train (Rousse)

Posted on August 13, 2017 by Dreamaticus

As the train came into the station I noticed that all the people leaving my carriage were stars of my favourite TV drama. Dare I tell them how much I love their work?

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Sectarian sanitation (Rousse)

Posted on August 13, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I was in big trouble for using the disabled toilet – because I was able-bodied, white, and Protestant.

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Rail passengers told go ‘Sod off’ (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

We needed to get from Hexham to Newcastle by train to spend the night with LM. When I tried to check the train times on the station’s app it responded with an error message: ‘Trains after 4pm from Hexham to … Continue reading →

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A bee swarm (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

‘Don’t touch it!’ I begged my mother. The bees responded to the poke and swarmed. I was covered in insects from head to toe.

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