Author Archives: Dreamaticus

The jewel thieves’ calling card (Rousse)

Posted on March 8, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The holes in the Blipfoto book were not the work of moths in the bedroom. They were, in fact, a message from the burglars who had stolen half my jewellery. The holes couldn’t have been made by the moths anyway. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged acrd, attention, bathroom, bedroom, blip. book, Blipfoto, burglar, burglars, calling, card, discovery, hole, hole-punch, holes, jewel, jewellery, kitchen, message, moth, moths, payment, perfect, plumber, problems, thief, thieves, toilet, toothless | Leave a comment

A knitwear surprise and a trip to the beach via York (Rousse)

Posted on March 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Seven year-old KF burst into tears when I said that I was looking forward to seeing the jumper that she was knitting for me. Her mother shot me a sharp glance that read “You weren’t supposed to know about it. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged beach, cry, drain, jumper, kiln, knitwear, lime, medieval, mother, shore, smell, smelly, surprise, sweater, tears, trip, York | Leave a comment

Scary nuns and a transsexual (Rousse)

Posted on March 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

This was a convent with a difference: none of the nuns dressed in habits. They were still scary, however. I was terrified when I accidentally got tangled up in the hose from their washing machine, tugged it out of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged beige, convent, female, friend, gush, habit, habits, hose, Katharine, Katie, nun, nuns, scary, sick, sister, sisters, socket, tangle, thin, transsexual, vomit, washing machine, water | Leave a comment

Morningside’s mathematics expert (Rousse)

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Putting my super-sleuth skills to good use, I determined that the Schnauzer owner that I had met online was a retired teacher from Morningside, and the author of the maths textbook Let’s fix it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged author, book, expert, math, mathematics, maths, Morningside, Online, retired, Schnauzer, skills, sleuth, text, textbook | Leave a comment

Bob Marley plays with talent show hopeful (Rousse)

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Such was the success of TV talent show hopeful FG that he and his father J were invited to gig with Bob Marley.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Bob Marley, father, gig, hopeful, show, success, talent, TV | Leave a comment

Sheffield conference fail (Rousse)

Posted on March 4, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The conference was an excruciating experience. We had travelled to Sheffield with such high hopes, but here we were stuck towards the back of the lecture hall appalled at the poor standard of presentation. Even the supposed ‘big names’ failed … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged appalled, comedy, conference, consumption, costume, costumes, cringe, deliver, drug, embarrassment, fail, hall, hopes, leave, lecture, names, PhD, presentation, pun, puns, recreation, Sheffield, standard, student, students | Leave a comment

Boris Johnson recommends bingo and a steak (Rousse)

Posted on March 3, 2015 by Dreamaticus

“Boris Johnson told us that we might as well go and play a game of bingo and get a steak for our lunch. It’s going to take ages for them to sort out the photography” said my contact. Boris had … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bed, bingo, Boris, Boris Johnson, chaos, clean, cupboard, detergent, flat, grime, hands, iPad, job, Johnson, lunch, mini, photography, risk, room, steak, students, surfaces, tolerate, TPR | Leave a comment

To Australia by sea with an unlimited baggage allowance (Rousse)

Posted on March 1, 2015 by Dreamaticus

It was so frustrating to find that both my meetings with the Scottish Government and Skills Development Scotland were cancelled. What made it worse was only discovering this news on arrival at the offices: first at Saughton House, and then … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged allowance, Australia, baggage, black, boot, boots, cancel, collection, Corstorphine, cut-offs, meeting, meetings, office, pack, packing, plastic, pony, Saughton House, Scottish Government, sea, ship, Skills Development Scotland, skin, travel, unlimited, white | Leave a comment

What happened at the school reunion? (Rousse)

Posted on February 22, 2015 by Dreamaticus

At the Teesside High reunion I knocked over the pot plant that RL brought for our hostess, VH turned up as a surprise, and I caught HD-B working her way through a plate of chocolate brownies.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged brownies, chocolate, hostess, plant, plate, pot, reunion, school, surprise, Teesside High | Leave a comment

Upside down rabbits and squirrels, and two escaped cats (Rousse)

Posted on February 22, 2015 by Dreamaticus

It was great to be back home after our holiday. We’d been away so long that I had forgotten the layout of our house. TPR took me through to the small sitting room. He’d arranged for it to be decorated … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged cats, decorator, down, escape, fault, flat, gate, holiday, layout, lwan, mow, neighbour, Patch, rabbits, room, sitting, squirrels, street, tabby, upside, vegetable, wallpaper | Leave a comment