Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Undercover work at the sex club (Belle)

Posted on September 29, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I had infiltrated a high end swingers party in London’s King’s Cross by dressing head to toe as an invisible ninja. I recognised politicians and influencers chit-chatting in an animated fashion in the bar. It was all pretty tame stuff. … Continue reading →

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High end living with Jason Statham (Belle)

Posted on September 29, 2024 by Dreamaticus

I was trying hard to become accustomed to my new life as “The Stath’s” current squeeze. When we arrived at the hotel, I was no longer expected to walk to the reception desk to check in. Instead, Jason drove me … Continue reading →

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Hoarder order (Rousse)

Posted on September 25, 2024 by Dreamaticus

The rumours that my sister lived in complete chaos were false. She had disposed of all the hoarded belongings from one room in her flat and was now busy painting it white. Her bedroom was also very neat and tidy. … Continue reading →

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Ideas for a four star toilet (Rousse)

Posted on September 23, 2024 by Dreamaticus

For a restaurant that had aspirations for 4* status, the ladies lavatories needed much attention. My suggestions for improvement included: Placing toilet paper inside the cubicles, rather than glueing individual rations onto the cubicle doors with sticking plasters. Widening the … Continue reading →

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Cannabis and a boxer dog (Rousse)

Posted on September 17, 2024 by Dreamaticus

SM hosted a delicious lunch for six. We all missed P, but S’s friend provided interesting entertainment when he hinted that it smelt of cannabis upstairs and S reacted by offering everyone a spliff. TPR also contributed to the fun. … Continue reading →

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Yoga versus Radio 1’s dance fitness (Rousse)

Posted on September 17, 2024 by Dreamaticus

It was 11:45 when I remembered that I was booked into a yoga class at 12:00. I ran all the way to the gym in the vain hope of reaching the studio in time. Alas, I was too late to … Continue reading →

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Dawn French presides over Irish-Spanish wedding in private chapel of stately home (Rousse)

Posted on September 15, 2024 by Dreamaticus

My in-laws held back the early morning visitors to their stately home while their staff vacuumed the Persian rugs. Meanwhile Dawn French, dressed in all her Vicar of Dibley garb, was busy setting up the private chapel for a wedding … Continue reading →

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A London love affair (Rousse)

Posted on September 15, 2024 by Dreamaticus

My mother-in-law pulled the sodden scrap of paper out of the stream, glanced at it, and quietly passed it to her husband. ‘That explains a lot. Now, at last, we know for certain what X has been up to!’ he … Continue reading →

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Queen Elizabeth II’s dirty look (Rousse)

Posted on September 15, 2024 by Dreamaticus

‘Would Your Majesty like to dismount here, or would you prefer to be dropped off closer to the entrance?’ I asked Queen Elizabeth II. Her dirty look was all it took for me to realise that my question was completely … Continue reading →

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A forgetful bald friend and queuing for a flight to Denmark (Rousse)

Posted on September 14, 2024 by Dreamaticus

With her bald head, RJ looked like a cancer patient. I said that I hoped that her family and friends knew that she had shorn off her hair to raise money for charity. Otherwise, they would be very worried about … Continue reading →

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