It took a long time to cycle the single tracks roads across the wilderness to the immense quarry, but it was worth the effort. The excavation was enormous. I couldn’t wait to see it close up.

We dropped our bikes above the village, not bothering to lock them in this remote location, then picked up an off-white Land Rover for the remainder of our journey. My niece AF joined us.

While I was looking forward to examining the rock formations up-close, TPR implemented his secret plan. He put the Land Rover into reverse and drove it backwards along the main road out of town, endangering all the traffic that was travelling directly towards us in the ‘right’ direction. I begged TPR to stop and turn the vehicle round, but he refused to listen.

TPR’s final destination was a salt mine. He’d planned the trip as a special surprise for AF, who was suffering from eczema. The salt found here was said to offer magical healing properties. TPR urged AF to give it a try.

Unsure of TPR’s advice, AF picked up her phone to seek her father’s permission to test this unconventional skin treatment. She adopted a ludicrous baby voice for the call. (My sister had warned me of this habit. I just hoped that she didn’t do the same on work phone calls.)

Meanwhile I admonished TPR for taking us on this ridiculous and dangerous expedition, expressing my severe disappointment that we had failed to examine the rock of the quarry, i.e complete the real purpose of our trip.