I was transported on a massive ship and was met in ‘New York Harbour’ by my new FBI colleagues. In a gushing attempt to impress them I announced that my arms were completely hair-free. The agents challenged me to “prove it”. I rolled up my sleeve and was astonished to find my arm looked like an orangutan’s.

Later I lost my passport but was helped by the mini UK passport office set up behind the hotel’s reception desk. My first day at the Bureau was an unmitigated disaster.