I climbed the concrete steps barefoot up to the top of the terraces of St James’ Park stadium. I found my seat amongst the other Newcastle United supporters, eagerly awaiting the start of the match against Bolton.

A woman along the row took an instant dislike to me.

‘So what’s your daughter called?’ she asked, haughtily.

‘I don’t have a daughter’, I replied.

‘OK, then. What about your son?’ came the response.

When I confessed that I had no children she turned away, with a smug grin on her face.

‘But how many countries have you visited?’, I shouted after her.

When she could only name Egypt, I knew that I had won that game. I worked my way around the world starting with the Nordic countries. I took great pleasure in watching her look turn sour.