‘I don’t even smoke! What would be the point?’ I screamed at the man who accused me of stealing a pack of cigarettes.

He was actually referring to the two Earl Grey teabags on the reception desk. Had I taken those? The answer was that I had, but in all innocence. I said that I thought that they were being offered free of charge to passing guests.

It seemed that this man had deliberately encouraged me to ‘steal’ from him just so that he had an excuse to strip off my clothes and subject me to a full Australian body search.