I had my suspicions that sixth form sweethearts G and JB had called it a day on their long marriage. That GB was a single man at last was confirmed when JB mentioned her ‘new partner’ to me.

I headed straight down the road to GB’s modernised blackhouse. He lived by the river and the steam railway line. Occasionally from here you could watch trainee tightrope walkers practise their art over the water.

I couldn’t believe my luck when I found GB at home, tucked up in bed. Now that he was separated from JB, perhaps our time had finally come? When I learnt that he had already rejected an approach from a young woman called Nicola that morning, I was convinced that this was in favour of my generous offer for later in the day.

Unfortunately, however, GB was not alone. My sister S was visiting too, as was my university friend HP. While neither of them had designs on GB, my sister was determined that nothing should happen between me and him.

Not long afterwards my other sister J also turned up (in a burgundy jumper dress). She started talking in a loud voice about TPR and his beautiful silver curls. It finally dawned on me that even if GB was single, I was not. I would not be spending the night with GB after all.