KPMG had poured millions into the construction of the London Dockland Golden Pyramid Cinema Complex and Ski Resort.

The first time that I visited it I was convinced that I spotted my school friend KC with her husband and two children in the crowds. However, when I approached the group of people that I thought comprised her family, I found that I had mistaken for her a man on skis wearing a curly Brian May wig.

Strangely, however, this man thought that he knew me. He told me that he was a retired school teacher from the north west of England, on holiday at the ski resort with one of his former pupils. He was extremely grateful to his companion for generously agreeing to ski with him on the fake snow in England because this saved him the trouble of travelling to the Alps to enjoy the sport.

When I wondered out loud why the two skiers did not consider taking to the slopes in Scotland, they responded to my suggestion with looks of absolute horror.