This new job certainly had its contrasts.  Yes, I was sharing the office with a branch of Marks and Spencer Simply Food that specialised in apricot Danish pastries – hooray.  Yes, Barack Obama had a desk on the other side of the room.  But how could I not be brought down by the fact that Boris Johnson was also sharing my office?   He spent most of his days loudly proclaiming how common I was to anyone who would listen.

One morning I was mistakenly accused of shoplifting my apricot Danish.  Naturally Boris Johnson, failed to step in – despite the fact that I had the receipt in my hand and the CCTV footage clearly showed me paying.  When Barack Obama stepped in to defend me, Johnson performed a ‘joke’ Nazi salute.  Later I received a small card that said “Well I like you, Belle”.  It was signed POTUS.  I debated whether I should post a photo of the card onto Facebook and my story about Boris to Twitter, but decided against both.

Later, while sitting outside in the courtyard, I witnessed a gang of thieves wearing silver New Romantic face-paint dump their shoes behind a bush.  This could be a clue!