My cousin EA bounced into our bedroom declaring that it was time to get up. It was not, and I told him to go back to bed. I needed all the sleep I could get before waking to my 06:00am run.

In the event the run was cancelled. Instead TPR and I followed EA to a conference room in a massive Georgian sub-basement. When my sisters arrived at the meeting looking very glamorous I realised that we hadn’t even brushed our hair since getting out of bed. TPR and I decided to pop back to our room to smarten ourselves up.

We took the route via Edinburgh’s George Street, where TPR tripped over a massive golden padlock attached to a marble statue outside the Royal Society of Edinburgh. Then we jumped into a yellow Smart car for the short journey home.

I was not prepared for the shock of seeing TPR morph into a sheet of paper before my very eyes. I screamed at him to come back, which he did briefly. He then disappeared back into the pages of a business report on the front seat of the car, with no hope of return. Our life together was over.