When the policeman searched my Birmingham hotel room for weapons he found the bicycle chain slotted down the side of the bed. Surprisingly my claim of possible self-defence was accepted.

The next day I set off for my meeting at the other side of the city. I was about to catch the train to Perry Barr when I remembered that I had left my small suitcase in room 220 (or was it 330?) and would not have time to come back and collect it before I headed home. I rang housekeeping and they kindly arranged for me to pick up my belongings later. Next to me was a young conference delegate full of enthusiasm for his work trip to Birmingham and a “luxurious” stay in a chain hotel. I looked on him kindly. If only he could imagine the work-related trips to places such as Boca Raton, Hawaii, Rome, Sydney, Singapore, Paris, Hong Kong and Vienna that we had experienced in the dot.com boom years. I mentioned Elton John’s participation and the woman standing next to me swooned.