Monthly Archives: January 2011

Poetry, romance and messy bathrooms (Belle)

I helped the local school to relocate by carrying a cardboard box of books to a house around the corner. This formed the next stage in the ‘human chain’ that was being used to save removal costs. I was helped … Continue reading

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Cakes, a cute puppy, and unwelcome careers advice (Rousse)

We all squeezed into LC’s new car and headed to the airport, stopping off on the way so that LC and KT could raid cake shops. I waited in the car park, looking after the children. Fitness trainer KB’s dog … Continue reading

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Rousse the stowaway to star in Channel 4 reality show

£12 was an absolute bargain for two freshly landed salmon, especially when the fishmonger offered to gut them free of charge. On the way home we picked up the frozen peas that I had left in the pub car park … Continue reading

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It’s school cocktail hour (Belle)

My friend B was a teaching assistant, wearing a red pinafore/overall. She was making a small group of eight-year olds read from a flipchart: “A Martini a day helps you work, rest and play”.

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Stolen sausages and Barry Manilow (Belle)

My sister’s flatmate had been cooking. Everywhere I looked there were sausages, either ready to eat on the table, or cooking under the grill or in frying pans. Then my sister discovered that her own sausages were missing. The flatmate … Continue reading

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Radcliffe (but no Maconie), a land-based submarine and an invitation to Disneyland (Rousse)

“You all remember Mark Radcliffe don’t you?” We followed SM’s gaze up the garden path. As the good-looking young man and his smart parents came through the gate, the rest of TPR’s family stood up from their deck-chairs ready to … Continue reading

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A sequel to The Wire with bonus Barbra Streisand (Belle)

Bubbles from The Wire, newly released from prison, was attempting to go straight. It was tough going, with a gang pursuing him relentlessly in underground car parks. Then a roof-top sniper shot at him with a bow and arrow. He … Continue reading

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Recreational drugs, a sleep-over, and Kevin Whately (Rousse)

The side-effects of extensive experimentation with recreational drugs in my youth became a serious problem in middle age. My super-sensitive hearing amplified any ambient noise in the environment. During the day the bursts of sound were mildly irritating. However, at … Continue reading

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Burns Night lover (Rousse)

He was my secret older man and I loved him. After Auld Lang Syne I made my move, pushing past the other dinner guests to grab the hem of his tweed jacket. He turned around and smiled at me kindly … Continue reading

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iPad hidden feature revealed and pretty ponies perform (Rousse)

TPR looked so pale and I suspected that he had been crying. What had driven him to come to my office on campus in such a state? He pulled out his iPad and confessed that he had been monitoring my … Continue reading

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