Tag Archives: drugs

How to survive the first week of term (Rousse)

My work life was falling to pieces: the only computer available to me for running a complex statistical package was an ancient XT; my first tutorial of the academic year lasted only 30 minutes because I hadn’t prepared enough material; … Continue reading

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Rousse dismantles international drug trafficking ring

My role in the efforts to combat international drug trafficking was so important that I was forced into hiding. Meanwhile my learned pal CO and buzzy AB worked tirelessly to ensure that I would never be discovered across the border … Continue reading

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Monkey on drugs (Belle)

Now that the monkey had moved into my childhood home, I realised just how easily I had been tricked. Far from liking me, it became obvious that it was simply looking for somewhere comfortable to take heroin.

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Belle goes on holiday

It was so long since I had been on holiday, I had no idea whether this was normal. The only lunch option was ‘creamed magic mushrooms on ciabatta’. Later the flea market turned into a fists-out bunfight as shoppers tore … Continue reading

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Belle is disturbed by the mini-Salvation Army

Tired and hungover, my attempts to sleep in were thwarted by the children playing in the carport under my bedroom window. I begged them to be quieter but it is difficult to muffle Salvation Army musical instruments, junior size or … Continue reading

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Rousse battles unconvention at a funeral, naked on the train, and with her man

It was a tragedy. Cousin R caught a cold on the golf course and promptly dropped dead. Now everyone was gathered for his less than conventional funeral. This included not only a scruffy, elderly bride in a dirty mauve dress … Continue reading

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Drugs raids ruin City living (Belle)

The Barbican became the centre of a series of ill-judged Metropolitan Police drug raids. Then the service at the Chinese fast-food restaurant started to go downhill. Once again, they gave me the wrong paperback with my order, and my friend … Continue reading

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Recreational drugs, a sleep-over, and Kevin Whately (Rousse)

The side-effects of extensive experimentation with recreational drugs in my youth became a serious problem in middle age. My super-sensitive hearing amplified any ambient noise in the environment. During the day the bursts of sound were mildly irritating. However, at … Continue reading

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Phil Collins frightened (Rousse)

Phil Collins was much shorter than expected. We chatted happily as we crossed the common, but as soon as we entered the housing estate and noticed dealers selling to addicts in darkened doorways he begged to be taken elsewhere.

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