Tag Archives: crying

A two-track wedding and Belle the big mouth

The wedding I attended was SO boring. In one room, every guest had been invited to ‘do a turn’ and I was cringing with second-hand embarrassment. Sneaking quietly out of the room, I discovered that a second ‘volume’ of the … Continue reading

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The boy with the dragon tattoo (Rousse)

The guests hurried to get off the coach that BM had chartered to transport everyone to his magnificent 40th birthday celebrations. All dolled up in a turquoise dress with short black sleeves and flashes on red across the bodice, and … Continue reading

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Quadratic equations fox faculty and first years (Rousse)

The bed creaked as the enormous dark-haired woman clambered over to my side. “Get off!” I demanded. “When TPR and I bought this big bed it was just for the two of us. You’re not welcome. I want to read … Continue reading

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Charles Dickens’ wife ponders the impracticalities of the Victorian sex scene (Rousse)

By now I had completely lost track of the characters in this Victorian melodrama. I was mixing up the real lives of the actors with those of the people that they portrayed. As Charles Dickens’ wife you’d think that I’d … Continue reading

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Elton John and the transsexual mother-of-the-bride (Rousse)

Everything about the wedding was on a gigantic scale. No wonder the bride was permanently in tears. Her mother had invited everyone that she had ever met to the reception, including a tiny man from her church who turned up … Continue reading

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How to rename a directory in Linux (Rousse)

I found the IT support staff in their “office” – a windowless former post room, about the size of a cleaner’s cupboard. One of them was soldering a home-made PC while the other clearly had nothing to do. Neither paid … Continue reading

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Rousse’s surprise school reunion

This was meant to be a family reunion organised by me. Everyone on the guest list was related either to me or TPR, and I had control of the whole event – or so I thought. When I apprehended my … Continue reading

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The assassin’s wife (Rousse)

I wept on the number 11 bus as it worked its way through the Leith traffic. When the stranger came over to comfort me I listed all my woes: I was always getting lost on public transport (especially trains to … Continue reading

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iPad hidden feature revealed and pretty ponies perform (Rousse)

TPR looked so pale and I suspected that he had been crying. What had driven him to come to my office on campus in such a state? He pulled out his iPad and confessed that he had been monitoring my … Continue reading

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