The Chinese dictator and new house mates (Belle)

Posted on April 29, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I bowed to a Chinese dictator (from the back row where they put the ugly people) and moved in with a man and a dog.

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When living in a squat in Southwark I was approached by a big man with a big dog who said ‘Who thinks they are God here?’

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Belle’s sister’s shoes

Posted on April 28, 2010 by Dreamaticus

My fourth sister lived in between floors in a house so her feet dangled out the ceiling in StartRite shoes.

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Rousse removed from campus

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Dreamaticus

There was no room at the inn for me when my Head of School realised that the only way that she would get an office herself was to deny me one on campus FOREVER.

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Mark Kermode does a runner (Belle)

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Dreamaticus

Ron Jeremy was paid £20 to dance at a warehouse party but Mark Kermode disappeared without paying him.

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Dead grandmother tweets (Rousse)

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I found my granny in a hidden room at parents’ house. When I asked how someone I thought was dead was still alive my mother told me that the French minister at Granny’s funeral had been bribed to hold a service over an empty coffin. Granny had then been dumped in a home, but my mother felt guilty when Granny started following her on Twitter so she secretly took her in again.

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Belle wins trip to Disneyland

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was a contestant on a quiz show with two really stupid men. They couldn’t for the life of them get the answer ‘macarooned’ even though I gave them all the clues I could. I really didn’t want to win that holiday to Disneyland.

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Rousse trapped once more

Posted on April 23, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I got trapped to my waist in a newly-gravelled drive.

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Cat dissection (Belle)

Posted on April 19, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was in a spa/hotel where the cats were all split down the middle.

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Less than satisfactory Christmas dinner (Belle)

Posted on April 13, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was eating Christmas dinner with a hostess who loathed me and whose husband popped out to the garage to buy prawn cocktail flavour crisps for the starter. Then we walked into the teeny tiny house opposite and it was Eltham Palace inside, like a tardis.

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The sky’s the limit for Belle

Posted on April 10, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was working in an office block in the sky that you had to access via a large ramp, or in a lift wrapped in scaffolding.

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A cyber-punk band sang a song that included the lyrics “read Business Information Review“.

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