Cat fur fortune (Rousse)

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Dreamaticus

My sister discovered that her cat’s fur was highly collectable. I was delighted when the postman arrived at the door with a sample for me. It came in a 6″ x 4″ crinkly clear plastic bag decorated with black lettering cut out from sticky-back plastic. It didn’t look worth £12.50 and I wondered if it contained fleas, but others were apparently clamouring for it to the extent that the poor cat was now almost bald. We left the pack unopened on the sideboard in the hall, unsure whether or not to open it due to my cat allergy.

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Belle takes a walk and slaves for a toddler

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I returned from a long walk and was told to go on another one over open fields. I suggested I could manage three miles, and IW said to me, ‘Well, that should take us three hours’. I thought ‘That calculation seems wrong’.

Mike Tucker’s diversification into organic chorizo needed to be registered with the BBC.

A brattish child was using my bathroom and demanded an anglepoise lamp. As I was unplugging it, I loosened the fastening on a one day diary and all the pages flew out.

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Efficient builders and a tramp (Belle)

Posted on November 2, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I looked out of the front window and was amazed to see the street had been scaffolded over by dozens of builders. The local tramp couldn’t find the way in to his usual den.

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Belle’s luck on the lottery

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Dreamaticus

The reading of the lottery results was postponed so the announcer could mend my broken mirror. I was not the mysterious foreign ambassador who was invited to all the best possible parties, but I was travelling with her. What was my father doing lurking in the back garden? And which of the cleaning products under the sink was the murder weapon?

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Rousse, the National Library Boy, and the Social Network

Posted on October 31, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was so flattered when the young researcher in the National Library of Scotland asked me if I’d like to go and see The Social Network with him. I explained that I’d made other arrangements, heaved my work and gym bags on to my shoulders, and set off to join TPR. When we reached the cinema my new friend appeared next to us in the queue so I invited him to sit with us. JH and my ex-office mate AP came along later. It was really annoying that the film was shown in the foyer-cum-greenhouse rather than in a proper movie theatre, but at least this made it possible to talk to my new friend. He told me that his name was Nim, and when he shared his 3×5 catalogue cards with me I was able to work out from the bibliographic details that he was researching information flows in the NHS.

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Rousse in time warp trouble

Posted on October 30, 2010 by Dreamaticus

It was simultaneously 1982 and 2010, so I was back at the University of Birmingham as a 47 year-old first year. I made a triumphant return to OH7, my first bedroom at the Manor House. Unfortunately my joy was eclipsed by the disdain of boys who failed to appreciate my day-time uniform of purple fleece jim-jams and spangled beanie head-wear. When I shouted at a woman to put out a cigarette in a lecture, she replied ‘It’s 1982. I can smoke anywhere‘.

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Lifts, lingerie and little people (Rousse)

Posted on October 28, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I only wanted to go up to the 7th floor in the hotel lift so what were we doing zipping into space Tardis-style to the 807th floor?

When I got home I found that my sister-in-law’s “looking after the house” routine included festooning all the radiators with her glamorous underwear.

Glad to be back in my own bed again I spotted that a large part of the bedroom wall had disappeared. The builder explained to me that the space was for a secret nursery, but was currently inhabited by dwarves.

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Belle bites dog

Posted on October 28, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was wandering around an airport/service station type shop that sold lots of flowers when I absentmindedly bit the ear off a beautifully fashioned chocolate dog. I had to confess to a man behind the till and he fashioned a prostethic ear out of plywood and said, ‘no harm done’.

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Rousse the jam tart robber

Posted on October 27, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I stole a jam tart from a room service afternoon tea trolley before bumping into someone from the past who had shrunk to the size of an 8-year old, thanks to gastric band surgery. I also saw the table plan for a school reunion and wondered where ST would be sitting.

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EastCoast now offered full-sized beds for the return journey to Edinburgh, but you had to fight for them, and sometimes share a double with a stranger.

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Belle faces up to Rousse’s regular routine

Posted on October 27, 2010 by Dreamaticus

I was at some kind of boffin convention and gradually, over lunch, I realised they were looking to me to ‘tell them stuff’. The horror.

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