Dreamaticus

My parents were selling up and disposing of their possessions, as was the University of Birmingham. If I wanted to save anything, now was the time to act. I wanted nothing from the White House, but was keen to retrieve my patchwork quilt from Manor. Although it had been used as a stair carpet for the past thirty years, it was actually in reasonably good condition, and the staff questioned why I should be taking it. As I tore out the carpet tacks I replied that I had photographic evidence that this work of art was mine.

Next we had to come to terms with our new living arrangements. My parents gave us the cottage in rural Perthshire and the house in Pitlochry, but neither was habitable. In the long-term TPR would supervise their restoration and we would rent them out to holiday-makers. Meantime we took residence again with the royal family. We knew the score here. You were to keep a low profile, be careful how you use the palace stationery, and never touch the Queen’s false teeth.