The nightly hotel wanderer (Rousse)

We lived in a huge hotel – possibly an American Hilton or Marriott – in a room that we shared with a disabled lady. She was a permanent resident, whereas for us this was only meant to be home for a short time.

I found it very difficult to sleep here and often wandered the corridors in the early hours, dressed in my lime green crocs and pink onesie. Nobody seemed to notice me – not even the smartly dressed business guests as they checked into the hotel first thing in the morning after overnight flights.

One night I lost my room key. Without it I couldn’t remember our room number, and ended up opening and closing random bedroom doors trying to find TPR and all our belongings. I was surprised at how many people left their hotel doors open, and that none of the hotel staff questioned what I was doing.

The same day I comforted PC after a guest accidentally slammed a fire door in his face and gave him a black eye.

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Loving last words of crash victim (Rousse)

Something made me look over towards the passengers on the other side of the aisle. They knew before I did that we were going down. Most were already in the brace position in readiness for the inevitable impact. I lowered my head into my hands and uttered my final words: “I love TPR”.

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Pants under the pillow (Rousse)

It was a Friday morning and we were all supposed to be at work, but instead DT, WB, NP and I were fooling around in my flat. AC joined us too, his camera at the ready to capture the fun of the moment.

WB recalled a party during which a bunch of pals had raided my bedroom. “You know that X now sleeps with a pair of your knickers under his pillow, don’t you?” she revealed.

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How to keep safe online (Rousse)

AA had suddenly developed an interest in social media profiles. His big concern was the discovery that I was “all over the Internet”. He showed me a collage of all the pictures of me that he had downloaded, including some great shots of my time on stage in amateur dramatics.

Even though he’d uncovered nothing of concern, AA was determined that I close down my accounts. He advised that (at the very least) I should replace my Facebook profile picture with an image of a clock face.

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Scottish Community Challenge café mix-up (Rousse)

I was very impressed with the new set-up in the café. Somehow NS had persuaded the owners to allow him to put up a sign that would direct potential clients of his consultancy services to the table where he was seated. The sign read “Scottish Community Challenge” with a huge arrow pointing to the left.

“Wow, that’s great!” I said to NS.

“It would be”, he confessed sadly, “if I worked for the Scottish Community Challenge – but I don’t”.

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An exile from marking (Rousse)

As KA headed off along the station platform with a sad wave, we did wonder whether her self-imposed exile was really absolutely necessary. All she had done was complain on Facebook about the pain of marking undergraduate essays. This was common practice amongst many of our friends at this time of year.

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Finding a tenant in Birmingham (Rousse)

On a rare visit to Birmingham, TPR and I checked up on our little house in Northfield. It had been empty for years, but we didn’t have the heart to sell it. I wandered around the lovely garden, surprised to find that there was still snow on the ground, then popped indoors to find TPR pondering whether or not it had been a good idea to take the wall down between the kitchen and the sitting room.

“Perhaps we should rent it out?” I suggested. “I know someone who would enjoy living here and look after the house well: my online friend Y”.

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When daddy was a school girl (Rousse)

Someone had discovered old video footage of our family and posted it to YouTube. There I was, fourteen years old, dressed in a raspberry cotton two piece peasant dress, arguing with my father. He then stood up and ran off down the street.

How slim my father looked from behind in the THS school uniform! It was at this point that I also recalled that in my younger days both my parents were female.

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Dangerous yellow balls (Rousse)

A swarm of several hundred yellow balls bounced down the street straight towards me. If I wasn’t quick, I’d soon be knocked over and engulfed in plastic.

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Bilingual pre-school songstress wows Simon Cowell (Rousse)

Now that A was a little older she was completely fluent in English (as well as German).

One day we heard her singing an Ella Fitzgerald song in a deep, low, melodious voice. This was astonishing. None of us – not event A’s mother WB – had any idea of A’s secret talent.

We called Simon Cowell to request an audition. He and a crony rushed to examine the potential new singing star. Although both recognised A’s extraordinary talent, they felt that she was too young to embark on a showbiz career at this stage of her life. They would, however, be very interested in meeting her again in the future.

Simon Cowell is a Dreamaticus regular. Also see him in:

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