Mother in a care home (Rousse)

We had some explaining to do when my father returned from Canada.

Why, he demanded, had the three of us – my two sisters and I – placed our mother in a care home?

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Rude relations (Rousse)

My sister J and her husband M decided to move to Edinburgh. They took a quick look at my flat, pulled out a pad of paper, and drew up some plans. Their big idea was to buy my flat and improve it. Meanwhile, I could go and live elsewhere. I doubted that they could afford to do this. In any case, they would never get planning permission – especially when they indicated that they would be sending their proposals to Newcastle (as opposed to Edinburgh) City Council. Even so, I found it all deeply distressing.

Events the next day at R and SL’s house upset me further. My nephew P’s cold behaviour and snarky response to my question about his viewing of The traitors series 3 were completely out of character. I ran into the kitchen and called him a git (completely out of character for me too). Then, on the way home through the New Town, I lost TPR. The only happy moment of the whole evening came when we watched the starling murmurations over the park from R and S’s kitchen window.

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Oxford University cheat (Rousse)

HVJ’s father passed on the telephone message. ‘Your daughter N is struggling with a final year essay. Please could you help?’

I couldn’t believe that it had come to this: Oxford undergraduates using their mothers as ghost writers.

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Mistaken for a grandfather (Rousse)

The children ran into the room and spotted TPR in the corner.

‘That old man must be your grandpa’ said one to the other.

TPR was not impressed.

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From Leeds to Shibden Hall (Rousse)

I was in Leeds on a sofa with HVJ and HVJ’s lover. HVJ’s husband RJ sat opposite us.

I had no idea what HVJ was trying to prove, but I winced when she and her lover openly embraced one another.

To lighten the atmosphere, I suggested that we go to Shibden Hall for the day.

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PhD poser (Rousse)

I had never heard a voicemail greeting like this before.

My sister J started her message in the conventional way, then launched into a long diatribe about the recruitment of PhD students.

Very few of her friends, if any, would have understood the detail. Was this all just for me? If so, what was she trying to prove?

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Amol Rajan: rubbish railway worker

Amol Rajan had given up in journalism for a job selling train tickets at London King’s Cross.

When he failed to find me a split ticket for the route London-Newcastle-Edinburgh, I recommended that he return to his old role.

He didn’t even know how to issue a standard single from the capital to Waverley.

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A tattooed lover (Rousse)

I’d known for some time that TPR had taken on SC as his mistress, but I was hopeful that this was just a temporary arrangement.

It therefore came as a bit of a shock to see the feint tattoo on TPR’s right wrist. I recognised this as a symbol of lasting commitment to SC.

The time had come for TPR to make a choice between his wife of many decades, and his relatively recent paramour.

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Holy Island’s best new beach (Rousse)

Holy Island was never a quiet holiday destination, but now the hordes had something new to enjoy.

The recent storms had transformed the muddy harbour bay into a wide expanse of soft golden sand. It was perfect for sunbathing, as a picnic spot, or a place to leave your clothes while you took a quick dip in the North Sea.

The bay was already a wonderful vantage point from which to photograph the castle in the day time, and to observe the stars in clear skies at night. The new beach now made it the number one tourist attraction of the Holy Island of Lindisfarne.

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Chilled illicit love (Rousse)

The hideous truth was that members of staff were meeting for trysts inside the care home mortuary refrigeration unit.

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