Avoiding the hen man (Rousse)

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Not long after I had accidentally broken a dozen eggs in a box, I spotted BEX cleaning out the chickens.

He called me over to request a meeting. I said that I would see him later, but I was lying.

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Inside a bottle of red wine in a wetsuit (Rousse)

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I broke into H and RJ’s house (while they were on holiday) and used the bathroom. I thought that I had got away with this until I saw their sports car coming up the drive. R was leaning out of the driver’s window, smoking a cigarette.

As soon as H spotted me, she bundled me out of the house. It was imperative that RJ did not see me.

Mission accomplished, H put on her pale blue wetsuit and climbed into a bottle of red wine. We were both now ready to set off on our journey to reunite with SL.

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A friend’s diagnosis (Rousse)

Posted on November 13, 2017 by Dreamaticus

While TNX played Lord of the Manor, watching all the comings and goings on his ‘estate’, his wife QNX seemed a little subdued. At first I thought this might be because we guests had over-stayed our welcome (and that I really could have polished my shoes elsewhere).

However, she eventually confessed that she wasn’t really in the mood to host visitors, especially not since the diagnosis that she had kept secret from us up to that point.

‘Oh no, not another one’ I muttered under my breath.

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Top game gift recommendation: Settlers of Catan (Rousse)

Posted on November 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I resumed our places in the back of the smart black car for another road trip south – only this time I sat on the right behind the passenger seat, and TPR took position on the left behind the driver.

At our first stop two blonde women in their forties approached me to renew our acquaintance and ask for game recommendations. I did not recognise them until the older of the pair explained that we had previously met on holiday and introduced them to Balderdash.

Following this encounter she had given the game to her son and daughter-in-law. She now sought advice on a follow-up present. I gave just one word in response: Catan.

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Why bother with home-made Christmas cards? (Rousse)

Posted on November 11, 2017 by Dreamaticus

EH sat at the far end of the sofa, watching me as I cut out shapes from unused Christmas cards to make some cards of my own.

‘What is the point of doing that?’ she asked.

‘I like to make my own Christmas cards’, I replied. ‘We used to make them from scratch, but this saves time’. As I uttered these words, however, I realised that EH had a point. Why not just write and send the cards that I had bought?

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of members of TPR’s family. They were visiting to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I noticed that FS had grown a lot since of last get-together and was now an almost-teenager.

Then through the window I saw some university pals walk up the garden path. I panicked.

‘Sorry everyone’, I apologised. I need to go and get dressed. I can’t allow GG to see me in this state.

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Woodcut forest scenes make interesting interior décor (Rousse)

Posted on November 9, 2017 by Dreamaticus

The beautiful woodcut scenes of deer in the forest, carved on to the back of the cloakroom door and sprayed gold, had been carved by my little sister.

I wondered whether she would be willing to create something similar for my house.

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Belle and Rousse to reunite (Rousse)

Posted on November 8, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Belle plotted to return to her old job and arrange for me to join her. I explained that I would need at least a year to prepare for my return to London.

There was the small issue of my degree to resolve. I should have just taken my finals (like SL and LK), but had dropped out for reasons unexplained.

SL said that she could tutor me in French if we moved into together in Birmingham. She would have time to help me while studying for her Masters degree in neuroscience.

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An abandoned banana baby (Rousse)

Posted on November 7, 2017 by Dreamaticus

The Pitlochry guest house was not to my tastes at all. The proprietor behaved as if she was everyone’s best friend, but I could see through her act. All that interested her was the fastest means of extracting as much cash as possible from her paying guests. For example, rather than encouraging them to go out and see the town, she kept the holiday-makers trapped on her property to enjoy ‘in-house entertainment’.

In the crush of guests someone lost a tiny baby. He was only the size of a small banana. I couldn’t bear to see him abandoned so volunteered to take care of him and wait at the guest house until his parents returned. This greatly angered my ogre of a husband who wanted us to leave the premises as soon as possible.

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Loch identification (Rousse)

Posted on November 7, 2017 by Dreamaticus

FR and I impressed one another with our loch identification skills as we travelled south through the Scottish Highlands.

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Violence on the buses (Rousse)

Posted on November 6, 2017 by Dreamaticus

ECM and I were travelling south along the east coast train line. I was heading to a conference in Kent, and she was accompanying me part of the way. It was only when ECM left the train that I realised that I had forgotten to bring the suitcase that I had packed with a change of clothes, my soap bag, and work for the journey and my overnight stay.

This was a mere inconvenience compared with what happened next. I was pick-pocketed on a bus crossing London. The thief took my purse and exchanged my iPhone for an inferior clone.

I appealed to my fellow passengers to help me. Only one stepped forward: a middle-aged woman who offered her phone so that I could ring (a) my bank to cancel my cards, and (b) my parents.

This woman would live to regret her kindness when she and I were later kidnapped by a member of the pickpocket gang, dumped in a dark prison cell, and warned to expect a beating.

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