Marrying Susan Calman’s ex-wife (Rousse)

When TPR cruelly divorced me, I was desperate to find a new partner. It soon became obvious that the gap in age between me and my first choice second husband (VJ’s son C) was too big to bridge, so I had to seek elsewhere.

I approached Susan Calman’s ex. To my astonishment she immediately accepted my proposal! We quickly married in a leather sofa-ed hotel lounge in front of a random set of witnesses: two nurses, my old boss JH, and gatecrashers RK and TMcE.

I soon wished that I had spent more time getting to know my new wife before taking her down the aisle. I was appalled when, straight after the wedding, I discovered that she was a smoker.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A spiked drink victim (Rousse)

I was probably an easy target after TPR left me. When I awoke, I knew that I was in a hotel bed in Italy. I could also remember taking a walk through the woods with a nice man called Peter the previous afternoon. However, I had no memory at all of the evening.

When I went downstairs, the staff congratulated me on my auction ‘wins’. I took a bar worker aside and asked about my purchases – and my drinking. Seemingly I had spent a fortune on fine art but very little on alcohol.

Then I found a scribbled note and a photograph in my pocket. Peter, who thanked me for a lovely night, was looking forward to seeing me the weekend after next. I recognised him in the photograph standing next to one of the T twins, most probably HH.

I could only conclude that Peter had spiked my drink and taken advantage of my unconscious state. When I next saw HH, she confirmed that she knew Peter and that this was the kind of behaviour to be expected of him.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gout-afflicted friend kills coronavirus fun in the Yorkshire Dales (Rousse)

It was an easy drive in two cars to the Yorkshire Dales for a weekend away to celebrate my birthday. It was only when we reached our destination that we understood why the roads and villages were deserted: coronavirus pandemic lockdown. Our hotel was probably closed too!

It was too late to turn around and drive home again so instead we continued on to AG and LG’s farm. If they were also in lockdown, then their rental cottage would be empty.

LG did well to hide her shock at seeing us. She graciously showed us around the accommodation, made us all a bowl of porridge, and left out boxes of cereal for our breakfast.

Once settled, we discussed our plans for the next day. If everything was closed, how would we entertain ourselves, and where would we eat? GC held up his gout-ravaged hand and pleaded with us not to abandon him in the lonely cottage all by himself. It seemed that the only real option would be to set off straight home again after breakfast.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stolen childhood treasures for sale on eBay (Rousse)

A small brown cloth badge stitched in white with the letters T, H and S caught my eye on eBay. Someone from my old school must be selling on the site.

The same seller had posted a chipped Blue Peter badge (not in such good condition as my own). Then I spotted a small white card badge with the word ‘Team’ written across it in biro – in my handwriting.

Somebody, somewhere, had raided some of my most precious items and was selling them online!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nosy parker notices nose job (Rousse)

The old photos proved it. JC had had a nose job in the 1990s!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Thick Rousse

While sections of the lecture made sense, I couldn’t understand its content as a whole.

Afterwards I volunteered to for the equivalent of blackboard duties. This task involved unpinning newspaper cuttings that the lecturer had pinned to a huge piece of rough blue cloth, then taking the cloth itself down and folding it up.

At the other side of the hall I could hear people muttering, somewhat incredulously: ‘Yes, she’s related to the famous philosopher, his economist daughter, the Olympic rower, and the Canadian ice hockey professional’.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dreamers reunite in London love nest (Rousse)

Several academics associated with the EPSRC’s Digital Economy theme were milling around Heathrow airport, including JB, MC, and PE (who happened to have recently appointed one of my PhD graduates in a Research Fellow role). They all greeted me on the assumption that I was heading north to Scotland, like them.

In reality, I was on a quite different mission: to spend the night in London with my beautiful Belle. (My husband need never know.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A coronavirus lockdown bike ride to Luce (Rousse)

The building work at the St James Centre finally complete, our flat on the ground floor of John Lewis now had a big picture window that looked out on to a massive plaza. Of course, a corollary of this was that anyone who walked past could peer into our sitting room.

Before long we were hosting streams of friends who ‘happened to be passing’. Many were from the #EdCM era: NP, DTJ; KJ; AC; DJ; WB; SC… We served drinks (tea, coffee and red wine), played videos of past parties, danced, and generally enjoyed ourselves. Best of all, AC played the double bass, and the rest of us showed our appreciation by circling round him. We were so overjoyed (and relieved) to be reunited once more.

I left the room when KT rang the doorbell. She had come to seek advice on photo books: should she order soft copy or hard? Then she invited me on a cycle ride to Luce in Dumfries and Galloway. I jumped on my bike and followed her – in shorts and a vest top, but no helmet and no hi-vis clothing.

We cycled on and on and on – and then it started to get dark, but KT would not turn back. I eventually persuaded her to stop and she agreed that we should find some accommodation for the night. This was impossible due to the Coronavirus lockdown restrictions. Not a single bed and breakfast or hotel was open.

We ended up breaking into a village hall to spend the night in accommodation last used by the Brownies.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Midges put off move to Lochinver (Rousse)

TPR and I took temporary accommodation in a Lochinver hotel. It wasn’t very suitable: whenever the tide came in, our room was flooded with sea water and the occasional fish; the bathroom was barely a cupboard; and poor security encouraged random scally-wags to come in and poke at our belongings. I did, however, like the towel rail, which was fashioned from the frame of a rusting old bicycle.

I already had a job offer under consideration and my eye on a permanent property overlooking the harbour, but now I was having second thoughts about the move. What about the midges in the summer, and what kind of price would we get for the Edinburgh flat post-coronavirus?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Boris Johnson Coronavirus date (Rousse)

Boris Johnson broke all the rules when he walked into the bar and plonked his bulky body down onto the seat right next to me.

‘I hope you’re still up for our date in Pitlochry tonight?’ he croaked through his fever.

‘No way!’ I cried, ‘Get away from us all – NOW!’

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment