Category Archives: Uncategorized

A sledge for a sister (Belle)

Posted on January 28, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I knew that the present I had bought for JB was “literally the best present anyone had ever bought for anyone, ever”.  In the middle of a heatwave, I had bought her a sledge.

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Gym gatecrashers (Rousse)

Posted on January 28, 2019 by Dreamaticus

The personal trainers had removed most of the artefacts that I had brought in to customise my corner of the gym. Now piled up higgledy-piggledy against the wall were the certificates and newspaper cuttings from my 10k races, the stereo … Continue reading →

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Underwater stripper and undercover spy (Belle)

Posted on January 27, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I was recruited by the government to infiltrate a criminal ocean-bed-drilling enterprise run by some rather cliche east end villains. My only way in was to join the ‘corps de cabaret‘ as a burlesque performer. Not only was this a … Continue reading →

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Hidden drugs and a Roald Dahl poster in a tube (Rousse)

Posted on January 25, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I could tell that my neighbour JS was desperate to go to the lavatory so I offered her the use of our guest bathroom. She refused on the basis that it was at the back of the house and bound … Continue reading →

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The reluctant sailor (Rousse)

Posted on January 24, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I was so excited when TPR and I walked along the pontoon to board the yacht that would be our home with around 20 others for the months of September to December. As soon as we were inside the vessel, … Continue reading →

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Stephen Fry’s bathroom (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Stephen Fry’s old bathroom was a place of pilgrimage. I borrowed a bright yellow-striped swimsuit from my cousin DT and plunged into the water. As I relaxed into the bath I noticed the messages that Hugh Laurie had scratched into … Continue reading →

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Topless David Beckham’s River Tweed tattooist (Rousse)

Posted on January 21, 2019 by Dreamaticus

David Beckham’s tattooist lived with his family on the banks of the River Tweed. I discovered the artist’s identity the day that TPR drove us to the tiny riverside cottage in his new black sports car . I admired the … Continue reading →

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Driver and passenger walk free from overturned Volvo (Rousse)

Posted on January 16, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Having successfully negotiated the main section of the journey to Edinburgh with my maternal grandmother in the smaller of my mother’s two silver Volvos, I lost concentration on a road that had been partially cordoned off, slammed into a traffic … Continue reading →

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When your new neighbours are reality television stars (Rousse)

Posted on January 12, 2019 by Dreamaticus

The new upstairs neighbours had moved in! I was able to confirm this to TPR and DM from the bedroom window as I watched a car arrive in the new parking space behind our garden. Before long we noticed that … Continue reading →

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Catastrophic Christmas cooking (Belle)

Posted on January 9, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Initially told to cater for ten people, there were now 24 people crushed around a dining table holding their knives and forks vertically and expressing impatience. There was chaos behind the scenes. No one was helping me, and when I … Continue reading →

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