Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Complaint to CalMac crew about criminal customers calls for chessman compensation (Rousse)

The passengers swarmed at the foot of the ferry steps, then formed a queue to leave the boat. Once on the quayside, I realised that I had left my 3 foot tall replica Lewis chessman on the vessel. Fortunately, however, … Continue reading

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Yellow perils on the streets of the Edinburgh New Town (Rousse)

The entire class – along with PC, who was calling himself Tom Mortimer – squeezed into a tiny yellow mini. Former PhD candidate LK took the wheel. We bumped across the Edinburgh cobbles into Moray Place. When I pointed out … Continue reading

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Glasgow comedian in conspiracy to catch MSP with pants down (Rousse)

TPR and I fell in with Glasgow comedian mop-haired Jello and his crowd on tour in Germany. When TPR wandered off, I ended up alone with Jello and a few of his German friends in a château for an evening … Continue reading

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Seal in a sand dune (Rousse)

A free woman again, I was making up for lost time. My first assignation was with EF, a French engineer. We shared a white tandem ride along the East Lothian coast, comparing the beaches that we passed with others that … Continue reading

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Hair straighteners affair giveaway (Rousse)

I had my suspicions when TPR told me that he would pop back to our flat in the middle of the conference for a shower. These strengthened when he asked where he would find my hair straighteners. This was a … Continue reading

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Running with pigs and a lobotomy (Rousse)

The Dean reminded me that the deadline was fast approaching for the submission of grant proposals. I acknowledged his concern that it appeared that I had done nothing to bring a team together, then booked a meeting room in the … Continue reading

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Sunset from a 5* hotel (Rousse)

We met in the private dining room of a 5 star hilltop hotel with fantastic views west over the bridges and river mouth. Yet I still couldn’t resist spoiling the happy atmosphere of the gathering by sneaking out to photograph … Continue reading

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Limbless torsos in Speedos, a bare-breasted woman, children in litter disguise, and booklet giveaways in Morningside (Rousse)

I abandoned weeding a municipal planter on the southern outskirts of Edinburgh so that I could catch a 23 bus back into town and meet my mother on Colinton Road at 6:30pm, as previously agreed. The bus was frustratingly slow. … Continue reading

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Name shame (Rousse)

Everyone seemed ashamed of their names. ‘W Dick’ apparently meant something very rude. Meanwhile Norris, who I thought was gorgeous, apologised every time that he introduced himself to anybody new. Surely his ridiculous name was not his responsibility, but instead … Continue reading

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Ironing in secret (Rousse)

At J and BG’s house I noticed that the framed tea towels were all crinkly – so I took them off the walls and ironed them in secret. My hosts would never know.

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