Jonathan Ross was a surprise celebrity guest at RC-I’s London flat, where I was staying for a couple of nights. How bizarre to find myself standing next to the star at the bathroom sink, cleaning our teeth together, dressed in just our underwear!

Even stranger was Ross’ determination to follow me all the way back home. We travelled north by train with RJH, his entire body wrapped up in bandages mummy-style following serious weight-loss surgery.

On arrival in Edinburgh, we headed straight up Calton Hill. Looking over the roof tops of the New Town and out to the Firth of Forth, Ross declared his undying love for me.

‘What on earth is TPR going make of all this?’ I asked myself.